Comments for Child Abuse Story From Kristen3 Part 5

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Mar 19, 2010
 Kristen:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You love everyone but yourself. You've lost your self-esteem in the process. You've been taught through your parents that you don't count. That all that matters is your submissiveness, which puts you at risk. At risk for abuse by your husband, and others. At risk for being left with no resources of your own to fall back on if your husband decides he's too bored to stick around. And your children are learning that women don't matter and that men are all ruling and always right. That is the legacy that you will have with your children. All the while you are the one who is left behind. Education is key, Kristen. Education that not only provides you with a skill, but also the understanding that you are worthy of being your own person, without always falling back to submissiveness. You are the one who will continue to suffer, but your children are being raised in such a way to believe that males and females are not equal. Only you can change this, Kristen, only you.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Mar 22, 2010
 STOP: Doing yourself down>STOP being subnissive
by: maurice

Keistin 3: please oh please build up your self esteem. You have your own giftedness/tallents that your parents and others did not want to recognise in you. Now that you are an Adult, Think like an Adult. You are a good mother, You are a good wife, in your own right: STOP running yourself down. DON'T let you husband rule you that is not good, He should value and respect you as a wonderful and great woman in your own right. He is being unfair to you and your children letting them think he is the boss, the controller in the house in the family. demanding, That is not what being married to someone is all about. He needs to acknowledge you as being a good woman. having a mind of your own on what is best for you and your children. Please read Darlene's comment: A woman's heart relating to a woman's heart: If you begin to take responsibility for yourself in all she suggests then Kristin 3 you'll be truly valueing your own self worth, your dignity as a woaman/mother; take charge of building up your SELF ESTEEM: I CAN: I WILL: I MUST: BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT: Always believe in yourself. I am certain a few sharings of your life with a counsellor will let those around you that you matter:
Mar 22, 2010
 Without the UN in Unconditional, it's not love
by: Mac

Krsiten3; Thanks for sharing precious one.
Unconditonal without the UN = is manipulation,cohersion.....nothing unconditional there.
Submission is not spelled= fear based compliance to another.
It's not our job to make others happy; either they are happy,loving,kind,or they're not.It's their choices.But we have the right to be happy, & so does our children.Be good to yourselfm & get you & your children out from the abuse & onto the path of recovery, & hope. By continuing to submit to the abuse & put our children into that submission, we're saying that we don't care enough about our selves or them.This just adds anger, & more pain to our lives,etc. Love yourself & them by letting yourselves have a chance to be healthier & happier. Youcan do it; you all deserve a better life.Taking the steps to get free, is your choice, not the choice of the one who abuses you/them, verbally, emotionally, or physically. Know you can do this for you, for them. You're not alone girl!



Sep 13, 2010
 wondering...what about me?
by: Scott 1

Hi Kristen. Im just wondering how you are. How is everything with you?

Something I learned long ago.

[You cant please everyone]. That is an impossible expectation which leads to dissapointment.

Also something I learned.

[Not everyone thinks like me]. I can be the most generous person I can be in this world but feel disappointed when I see others not doing the same. Givers and takers. Black and white thinking on my part maybe? People read the disapointment on my face and get offended. Its hard to hide. I can end up feeling like a chump and what should feel good is turned into something else. Getting laughed at for my values. Guesss I live in a dream world.

Ive been reprimanded for voicing my opinions so strongly. Maybe trying to guilt others into making better contributions.

One queston remains after all is said and done.

If we are so busy trying to give, and please everyone else around us....what are we doing for ourselves? Surely at some point in a persons life we get to ask...what about me?
Sep 14, 2010
 I love when someone returns after some time:
by: maurice

Thank you Scott: Darlene: from bring back Kristen3: It gives me the chance to say I still care about you as I've no doubt we all care about each other a good deal on this blessed of places and safe haven site: Scott 1: you raise a very important Q. What about me? Who am I?? is a question I shyed away for years answering: Now A few years later having gotten to know myself your Q Scott1 is most relevant: Yes we sure bother ourselves with other peoples worries and cares that we neglect looking after the self: I guess a slight danger could be that when we read the true stories of another on this site we might just stop being good and kind to the me in us: I try to balance loving and caring for my own needs while offering love and care in my comments to others: It is real therapthy for me when I share my true feelings with another knowing it all helped me when I told someone: Kristin 3 I want what is the best for you, as indeed does Darlene and all her visitors: But you must want it for yourself too: Get Scott 1 and my message: we empaise with you still:
Sep 15, 2010
 Thankyou for remembering me
by: kristen

Hello Scott and Maurice,

I have not read my posting in a while. So I did not see your messages and I did not get a reminder email when you posted.

Thank you for writing such nice words of encouragement. They are really appreciated. I always have a smile on my face but that is outside. These kind words of yours make me smile on the inside. Does that make sense.

I am OK. Actually nothing much has changed. I am still searching for myself while I try to bring up my two lovely children and to understand what it is that my husband wants from me. Actually I am good. It is school holidays next week and it will be lovely time.

kristen

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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