Comments for Child Abuse Story From Kim

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Dec 20, 2008
 Abusive mothers...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Kim, so many of us had mothers who were horrifically abusive. Society doesn't want to believe that mothers are capable of heinous acts of violence against their children because it tears away at the fabric of who we are. After all, if we "accept" that mothers, the caregivers and nurturers and child bearers are capable of beating their children to a pulp, leaving them physically and emotionally damaged (and even killing them), then who are we as human beings and what hope is there for us. Of course I'm not talking about all mothers. But what many don't realize is that well over half of substantiated physical child abuse is at the hands of mothers. And that doesn't speak to the unreported cases.

Society gives parents permission to assault a child in the name of correction, and then wonders how it is that those same parents can harm their children. Every day there is a news article about yet another child severely harmed or murdered by a parent; and the rest of society scratches their heads in disbelief. You were one of those harmed children, Kim. Only in your case, there wasn't even one person around to "scratch their head".

As for your father, as terrified as he might have been of his wife, that was no excuse for him NOT to step in and protect you and your siblings. That was his job as your father. I can understand that you want to protect him; but have you considered that you might be looking at his lack of actions from the eyes of a child; the eyes of the child who heard him once try and get his wife to "leave you alone", only to be doused in milk for his efforts. If he couldn't do anything to protect himself, Kim, how was it that he expected YOU and YOUR SIBLINGS—innocent and helpless little children—to protect yourselves. Your mother threw a knife at him during a discussion...surely to goodness he must have realized how unstable she was and that she was a danger to his children. By NOT acting, he enabled the abuse, Kim. That makes him every bit as responsible for the abuse as your mother was.

You said right now you're in a down curve. I understand that. There are probably factors going on in your life that you didn't share, factors that are contributing to this "down curve". Just keep your head up, Kim. Remember that you survived some of the worse child abuse there is. None of what you're going through now compares to what you've already survived. You are stronger than you think. And when you forget how strong you really are, lean on some of the lessons that 25 years of therapy afforded you. Better yet, come back here and re-read the messages within all the stories on this site. They apply to you every bit as much as they apply to the other survivors.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Dec 20, 2008
 A helpless prisoner for a father...and a vicious beater for a mother
by: Francine

Kim, I'm sorry that you never had a good mom. Strangely enough, I went through the same thing. Your so-called mom even took pleasure in not only disciplining you, but she took pleasure in scaring your father as well. Well, do not believe what she said to you, ever. Her lies are still lies. She was the adult and you were the child. You and your father really need counselling cuz you are both worth the help that you (and your dad) deserve. You are not a slut, you are a good girl (and what your father said to your mother proves it) and you did nothing wrong. Your momis responsible for doing something wrong, not you, and she needs professional help. My heart goes out to you, your siblings and your father. Your tyrannical mom should've been in jail for a long time.
Dec 22, 2008
 Your father
by: Elizabeth

tHat must've been horrifying,after all,there was no reason of her abusing you.BUt at least your father protected you.
Dec 22, 2008
 Misread
by: Anonymous

With all due respect Elizabeth, Kim's father didn't protect her at all!!!!!!!
Dec 24, 2008
 Misunderstanding
by: Francine

Anonymous is right, Elizabeth. Kim's father should've been there for her when she needed him. He never protected her cuz he was afraid of her mother (his own tyrannical wife). Remember, his wife threw a knife at him one night, and another night, she poured a glass of milk on him when he tried to stand up for Kim. I hope you understand this. Thank you.

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