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Aug 29, 2010
 Kiki:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Understand that your 8-year-old uncle was very likely being sexually abused himself, because children that age do not know about such sexual acts unless they are introduced to them. And none of what happened was your fault. NONE OF IT. You need to talk to someone. Please consider one of the hotlines listed on my stories page, depending on where you live, in order to talk to someone confidentially. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Aug 30, 2010
 you have good mind and soul deserved freedom tell your family and go to meetings or counselor
by: Anonymous

first off the step gramdmom and his mom , what
they didnt get you help him either see there has to be abuse in that part of family based on whaqt you said kids experiment legally but that gone way to far to adult hood as if he was part of sick abuser family with no supervision or some missing link there , i definately tell and find a way to go to the incest groups get help and i make his grandmom and his mom accountable too for not doing that , i honestly why do you talk to him , denying it happen is worse, i go to incest group find out where he go to suggest it and confront with your mom and family together what happen, and that parent and grandmother of his i just cannot understand, a one time thing kids little that s experimental what went on with you very further, and where was all the adults, i find the group to go to, then tell the mom your family , say you are getting help then with everyone decide then about the things to do or you decide if they dont seem to understand, refer him to a group too , and in case he has been abused too reason and dont be friends or when you get children around him you dont understand , he most likely been abused or exposed to someting or not supervised see his mom didnt even do right or grandmom so you should see what the possiblity is of what happen they know most likely . you get help meeting incest they call it go to that to start and get advise. too dont be around him very hurtful for you. uncles most of time are not big part of family you said step too see if that so you dont need this at all step uncle what, thats not an uncle anyway, i get him out of your life you dont need him in it , if you know he coming then you leave find a way to stay away, maybe he get the point go get help , and for gods sake when you grow up have kids dont let him around them you dont know what happen, maybe he is not like those that abuse now but did he get help see you dont know, you got to be safe careful i would tel family get incest group. go to that, try to,. or get private person but that wont give you big picture of how this goes, incest group would. so sorry that happen to you, you survived and seem very level headed and i bet will end up with wonderful life ahead of you.
Aug 30, 2010
 i have plan try different indirect ways get support first too in case
by: Anonymous

how to actually approuc h them i would do this just suggest no advise to do it

first i join a group meeting, then i get thier advise i would get books an literature too from the group or library anywhere incest and abuse sexual information, see if when you leave it out what they say, ask you then you off the hook they ask you then you tell them right then and there

sort of put in thier corner, to ask you what you are doing why ect, try see if that works
if you are scared, or would well i doubt it the step nut or grandstep nut who didnt help tell them with you , i doublt it since they didnt help you to begin with but just figure out how to tell try different things to start see if that helps you feel good about it honestly though get the support first, then see in case thier reactions upset you , you have the meetings go to anyway. you know more about who close to you how they react not me, good luck
Nov 04, 2010
 OMG
by: Anonymous

ok that is not ok and it makes me mad! my dad did a simalar thing and it scars you for life i know just remember you did nothing wrong you are special and live out loud laugh alot and love much!
Nov 14, 2010
 virginity question
by: Anonymous

To answer your virginity question, the traditional definition of virginity for a female refers to the act of breaking the hymen through vaginal intercourse. Using that definition, you are not a virgin now.

However, the definition is outdated - for example because of the way their bodies develop, some girls don't have hymens whereas others such as in your case have your traditional virginity taken away in an unequal relationship.

I choose to believe that people who have experienced child sexual abuse or sexual assault as adults are virgins until they choose to engage in an act of sexual intercourse in a loving, safe, and equal relationship.

By the "new" definition, you are a virgin until you choose to lose it in a sexual relationship.

I hope this helps, be well.

My two cents.

From Darlene - Webmaster: To My two cents, there is no "new" definition of virginity. This is your interpretation of what virginity should be; and while I don't necessarily disagree with your assessment, virginity for the purposes of it's "true" definition IS the "traditional" definition. Considered the definition "outdated" if you must, but there is no official outdated definition at this time. Intercourse is intercourse, whether or not it was consensual. What's more important is not attaching so much to being a so-called "virgin".


From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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