Comments for Child Abuse Story From KC1

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Feb 26, 2010
 KC:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I agree with you wholeheartedly. Every time you witnessed your mother being abused by your father, you were abused too in a terrorizing way. Every time you witnessed your "family" put your mother down, they put YOU down. Emotional abuse leaves the deepest and longest lasting scars. In all likelihood your mother didn't believe she deserved better than she got with her husband because her own family taught her that. Shame on them. I do hope you and your mother find a way to heal together. And yes, not all therapists/counsellors are created equally. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Feb 26, 2010
 Yes and No
by: KC

No my mother isn't getting the help that she needs. She never got the help that she needed when she needed it. I don't know if it's possible for mental disorders to evolve but watching my mother over the years I believe it is. She continues to struggle with depression and PTSD and paranoid schizophrenia. The paranoia started off surrounding our safety after the divorce. Eventually it became hearing dad's voice threatening to kill us all. That grew into other voices telling her that they were going to hurt us. Nightmares would turn into a schizophrenic episodes and that would lead to me having to calm her down out of panic attacks because who could feel safe when dozens of voice are saying they're going to kill us and plant bombs? She refuses to go back to therapy because the one that she had before moved away and she hasn't liked or trusted any of the other ones she's been to since. I think my moving out has helped a bit in the situation as my grandparents can no longer use me as leverage against her, and she won't be caught between us as much.
As for me, I still suffer from depression, panic attacks, and PTSD. I have however gotten away from my primary source of agitation by limiting my contact with my grandparents. I can hardly remember what a cattle prod feels like, but I can tick every time my grandmother threatened my mother or accused me of stuff or dismissed my efforts as not good enough and made me feel small. To this day my grandparents continue to try to speak to me as always and then can't understand why when I sometimes refuse to visit, or when I do visit but end up walking out. And my father drank himself to death so that's ok. And sometimes it's painful to be around my mother when she's having a bad day.
Other than that I feel that I have put myself in a position where I can recover and continue to move on. And I may even go back to therapy eventually just to measure and see how far I've come. It's a work in progress but the fact that there IS progress is enough for now.
Mar 02, 2010
 You are right to be angry!
by: Helen Louise

I see so much anger in you letter. I was an angry young person too, and I know that that is what saved me. I went to lots of therapists and am grateful for their help because they kept me alive, but I did not get a lot better until I found Alanon, for family and friends of alcoholics.

There is no guarantee that you can help your mother, but Alanon is specific for helping you. I urge you to go to at least several meetings. So many misunderstandings about life get passed on in families like yours and mine. It helps to have sane thinking presented to counter the bad stuff.

Life could be really good for you. Good luck.

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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