Comments for Child Abuse Story From Katie

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Oct 18, 2013
 Katie:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Telling was such a brave thing to do. Don't ever let anyone convince you that you deserved any of what you endured. You are not the lies your mother said about you, directly or indirectly. You are not to blame for any of it. I do understand the conflict you feel about whether or not that's true. What's true is that adults took advantage of your youth and your vulnerability. They misused the power they had on you, turning it against you. That's on THEM, not you. You couldn't have done anything to make them do anything. THEY were responsible for their own actions and misdeeds and criminal behaviour. I for one am thrilled that you are here in this world. I for one believe you will make a difference in this world. In fact, you already have just by sharing your story. I for one believe in you and believe that you WILL find a way to get whatever education you need. I did it. Many years ago. My grades were far worse than yours. And I quit school. But I went back. I did what I had to do in order to get the education I wanted. Not in the usual way of going to college. But as an adult student at night. Took some time, but I accomplished it. So I KNOW you can find a way too. Just make the commitment to your Self that you will begin treating your Self with the love, dignity and respect you deserve. And you DO deserve that. Reach deep within your Self to see the unlimited good in you. I see you. Now it's up to you. I send you love, light and healing energy, Katie. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Oct 18, 2013
 So many crimes committed
by: Anonymous

Katie, I know you wanted love from your mother, but she needs help. It's a good thing that you told someone about it; telling someone (including a teacher) is nothing to be ashamed of. Oh, and your mother is wrong. You're not stupid; you're very smart. Oh, and I hope you get adopted by a loving family and that you seek the help that you need.
Oct 19, 2013
 So little love shown...
by: Anonymous

My heart goes out to you, Katie.
Oct 20, 2013
 Katie,
by: AnonymousT

I am the mother of a 15 yr old.

You CAN get a scholarship. Everytime you change schools go to the counselor & tell them your story. Say, "I'm in foster care so I move often & I need a plan to help me with my grades so I can get a scholarship."

There are grants. You can do work-studies. Get a job that feeds you when you're IN college (grocery/fast food/waiting). There are so many options. When you go to college, your life is opened to SO many possibilities!! I didn't go...so I know.

Keep your head up. Keep your focus.

YOU ARE NOT DEFINED BY YOUR PAST.
I wish you all the luck in the world, you can do this.
Oct 21, 2013
 To Katie
by: Laurellyn

I read your story and it touched me so hard. The tears are still falling. You are probably stronger than what you think to be able to share your story; I know it must hurt so bad to think and relive it just by sharing it, but there is a higher purpose for doing so. By you having the strength to share, you in return give others the ability to tell their story. Katie, I too was abused when I was a child, and it took some time for me to be able to absorb why these things happened to me, but we live in a crazy world, where many things simply aren't fair. It's something that is hard to figure and evil is the only word I can attach to it. But unfortunately, evil exists and will till the end of time. Your task at hand is to rise above all those circumstances and be the best you can be. It's not easy. It takes forgiveness, which when you are abused, you have so much anger bottled up, but I can tell you there is release in it. I know that you are a beautiful person inside and out. I feel that just reading your words. What has happened to you is unfair. Your Mother sadly needs great help, but you cannot fix her, you can only fix you, and you can have a blessed and normal life. It may not seem like it, but it is possible. I will be praying for you Katie...not empty words. You are worth all the gold on the earth and you deserve a chance and I'm praying that you get the best opportunities in this life.
My heart is with you.
Oct 24, 2013
 This statement in your story concerns me...
by: My Two Cents

Katie, when you wrote about the placement into foster care, you said:

"I hate that some of the families are as bad as or worse than my mom and her boyfriends."

This is extremely concerning. My degree is in social work, and while I don't work in child welfare, I do try to keep up with what is happening in the field.

Foster care givers usually go through a very strict screening process and foster care placements are supposed to have regular meetings with their own dedicated social worker. I would expect that younger children or children who have been severely abused would be seen more often.

It is NOT appropriate for someone who is employed by the state to care for you, to make sure that you are safe and healthy, not to do that. You have rights in the child welfare system, in our society. I would encourage you to contact the children's osbudsman in your province (all provinces should have this resource, it has been recommended multiple times in various inquests) with your concerns and complaints about foster care.

I realize there will always be an issue. The social worker might say, "Well, I have a 5 month old baby in the hospital that was burned on a stove by his dad; I don't have time for Katie." The foster care giver might say, "I signed up for a sweet three year old toddler, not a sullen teenager that does x or y...." Whatever. I don't really have a lot of patience for these excuses.

At the end of the day, the people involved in your case, the foster families, the social workers, the child welfare system, and any other system involved; they all have a responsibility to YOU. That responsibility is to keep you safe and healthy at the bare minimum. If the foster family is as "bad as, or worst than your mom and her boyfriends" this isn't happening.

I hope you see the comments on your story and speak up so that you are protected. I know this is scary. You spoke up already, and in some ways, the situation may be worse. I don't know why that happened, but it should not have happened. I hope you speak up again, and again, until you are heard and safe from any type of abuse.

Be Well

My Two Cents
Jan 03, 2014
 strong
by: Anonymous

My heart aches for you and what you are living through. A broken home and family can make things seem so impossible and it eats away at who you really are. The things I would give for no child to go through not feeling loved. I pray to the powers that be that things will work for you as you get older. Keep breathing.
Sep 28, 2014
 Katie
by: Anonymous

I am a survivor of probably the worst child abuse you read about mental physical emotional and 54 I wished we could adopt you it was never your fault nobody puts a boyfriend or girlfriend before there child ever or should I say a kind loving parent should not I don't know what I could do to help you but there is casa and baca my prays are being said that you get counseling and a good family gods strength be with you maybe you can get involved with sports cheerleading something that can help you emotionally may god watch over you and report things that aren't right

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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