Comments for Child Abuse Story From Gary U

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Apr 26, 2010
 Gary:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I'm glad you found a way to reconcile your feelings for your mother; a huge step toward your own healing and recovery. As for your father, he HAS missed the point of life. But it's HIS loss. HE'S the one who lives without love. HE'S the one who lives his life in misery. HE'S the one who has missed out completely the ability to share even a semblance of his life with his precious son; YOU, Gary. I can only imagine what childhood horrors he lived through to continue to live his life in complete and utter hostility. The lesson learned here is how not to live YOUR life. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Apr 26, 2010
 So sorry.
by: Linda

Gary, you and I have a lot in common. I too was raised in the sixties and seventies with two psycotic parents. Back them it seemed expected for parents to beat their children. At least that is what I was told. Your mother sounds like a schitzophrenic. My mother had the same behavior as yours and did some horrible things to her children. My dad was an alcoholic and tried to pretend we didn't exist. I hope you have a better life now. If you have children of your own, give them what you didn't have. It took a long time for me to get over my childhood abuse, but I'm slowly getting there. I hope you are too. I am a christian and I will have my church pray for you. I don't know your last name, but God will know and answer my prayers for you....Peace and love to you...Gary.
Apr 27, 2010
 A safe place to begin: You are one great GUY:
by: maurice

Reading through your story brought me int many similiar type houses rather than homes where I grew up in the 40's 50's: Sadly there were too many. But great children survived what they regarded as normal they cruelty and discipline inflicted on them by a man and woman thrown together in Marriage by their families. A church who knew what was going on but failed miserably to condemn it or do anything about it. Teachers at school continued abusing those children that society failed to protect: The year, the time of the place is of no consequence as innocent children were used and abused just objects to these people. Gary U: you paint a horrific picture and you in the center of it all, battered, bruised mentally and physically by mental people who should have been in treatment for their sickness. You are one very brave and good man to have survived and found a place to relate your story: Darlene's site sure is a new beginning for you move on in your life, to live well, to laugh alot, to love much: beginning with yourself: I am the most important person NOW. I'll do what is the best for me NOW. I will seek out counselling because I know it will help my healing process. I am going to be a winner over abuse. A victim to victory with alot of support and help from my friends who care about me, love me, treat me with Respect. Value me for my giftedness/tallents: I am a great GUY. Don't Quit, Don't give up on the wonderful and special person you've come to be after abuse: You are intellegent and therefore you know it was nevr your fault, I never asked to be born into such a sick family neither did my siblings> Gary U think positive, act positive, be positive in all you do and say about yourself. I will, I can, I must, because I am WORTH it. Have a healthy mind in a healthy body, be out and about active and alive taking part in sporting and cultural activities with like-minded people. No sitting at home dwelling and being negative about something you could not be blamed for. Be brave, stay strong, have courage to do what is good for you: think about counselling as a starting place. You'll be a winner there.
Apr 27, 2010
 in the words
by: Scott 1

Hi Gary U.

I, like you, grew up in a toxic environment. I think my father said a nice thing maybe three times to me in my life. It can leave a kid with such anger issues. I truly cherish those nice complements now today. I hold them to my heart like water to a man in the desert. And I hated my father. Maybe he was just trying to make me tough.
His physical abuse aside, I find its the verbal abuse that's stays the longest. It seems to play over and over like a loop tape recording..forever repeating. Not so much now, but a few years back it was bad. It gets better if you believe in yourself, and that what was said about you was wrong and untrue.

The words I hate hearing today are..."you dont listen." Its actually that I have a short memory and tend to forget. Easily distracted. Distracted away from something I dont like doing or a place I dont want to be. I still do it today...get distracted.
Once focused on something I actually WANT to learn than I'm all business and nose to the grindstone. I'm a good worker and like to keep going until something is done. Look..I just gave myself a complement...see...its easy.
There are many many things in life I remember because I want and need them. When I hear those words.."you dont listen"....I swear it takes me back to a time just before I was going to be beaten by that teacher. I think that is why I hate those words today and get an uneasy, queasy feeling.
Bad word connected to impending physical abuse is surly something that imprints on the brain. Just a theory of mine.
Gary...its not true what they said and you know that. Your parents are a mess, not you. We dont choose our parents and I can think of a few that need to be traded in and recycled.
All the best.
Apr 28, 2010
 Even animals would never treat their young so sadistically
by: Anonymous

Gary, what those sickos for parents did to you and your siblings was truly pathetic, sadistic and ungrateful because your 'parents" are really sick, sadistic, twisted and cruel in their own ways of thinking...not to mention control freaks. They didn't deserve to have beautiful, wonderful, loving children like you and your siblings, but most of all, you guys certainly didn't deserve to have such uncaring, unloving, sick, cruel, barbaric, animalistic, ruthless, sadistic parents, so the sooner you tell someone about it/try counselling, the better.
Apr 30, 2010
 Gary, You are Worth Soooo Much More!
by: Darrell

Dear Gary:

WOW; I thought my life was hell as a child and it was growing up. But just when you believe your story is worse you meet someone who has experienced more. My friend first I must say, that your parents lost out on a huge moment in time where the joy of your heart could have changed their lives had they just allowed you to express yourself and be joyful. I know where it is...Times when we as children were expected to be seen and never heard. Moments when we desired oh so badly to scream out to someone, but could not realize that opportunity as a child. Well today my friend, you have the golden opportunity to show the love to your father, where he could not. Yes; it will be somewhat painful! But I found that I had too. I had to make myself do it for me... it isn?t easy and yes we will still have those reflections of moments when we hear a word or sound from the very abusers we try so hard to build a relationship with in their old and feeble ages in life. But let me say to you Gary, losing your precious life do to a desire within to kill your father however valid you may think it is in your heart, this, would be the ultimate insult to you and a huge waste of such a wonderful life meaning YOURS! You are more than this and I truly believe you will do great things to help people around you from your many experiences if you allow yourself to be used in people?s lives. Gary, I will be praying as-well for you, and I hope you will pray for me in my struggles and together, we will change a world even if it?s just our little corner. Blessings from your friend Darrell..:-)
Mar 04, 2013
 The Horror
by: Anonymous

Gary, your mom was deeply troubled and sadistic. Good that you got out of that house now; you've suffered enough. Your parents are mentally ill. Now that you got away from them, your healing can start in earnest.
Mar 04, 2013
 The dignity that you deserve
by: Anonymous

Gary, your story is a little similar to mine and it's honestly disturbing. Its great that you worked to get out because no more secrets can and will help put an end to that cycle of abuse and helplessness.

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