Comments for Child Abuse Story From Finn

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Apr 20, 2011
 Finn:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You are none of the terrible things your obviously disturbed mother calls you. And while I appreciate your prose, I dispute every word of it. You are mimicking what you've been told; not what's true. If there is anyone who has a mental illness it's your mother. Something is seriously wrong with her mind. She has systematically brainwashed you into believing nothing but lies about yourself. You are a BEAUTIFUL person. I can tell that by how you write. Your writing tells me how intelligent you are, how amazingly bright you are; all in spite of the emotional abuse you've been forced to endure for so many years. Don't continue to believe the lies. You ARE worthy. You ARE lovable. You ARE a human being deserving of dignity and respect. Although Singapore has a hotline, it's for children ages 7 - 12. There is a Child Protection Service Hotline (MCYS)at 1800-258 6378. You can contact them Monday - Friday: 8.30 am - 5.00 pm; Saturday: 8.30 am - 1.00 pm. Email: MCYS_Email@MCYS.GOV.SG

Do what you must in order to get the help you need, Finn. You really are worthy of it. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Apr 20, 2011
 Dear Finn,
by: Anonymous

The horrible things your mother told you are NOT true, and they never will be. If you were stupid and worthless, you could never have written this story so beautifully. You're obviously very intelligent, and NOT stupid, worthless, smelly, unlikely to succeed, or any of the other lies your mother said. I for one think you're incredibly likely to succeed, you seem like a great writer, and I'd love to read any books or poetry you write. <3
Apr 21, 2011
 I'm Sorry
by: Anonymous

Finn, you were given a raw crappy deal. Your mother is so twisted that she doesn't even know how to take care of herself; let alone be a mother to you. Your mom doesn't know how to love even herself; all she ever knew is hate, so she should've known better and loved and cherished you. Oh, and she is wrong. You are not a worthless unwanted child you are not somebody who should've been dumped at a mental hospital; You are not a child who is "uglier, stupider, smellier, more useless and less likely to succeed in life than other teenagers, blah blah blah"; you are not ugly; you are not stupid; you are not a loser; you are not a retard; you are not evil; you are not bad; you are not dumb; you are not "worse than an animal"; you are not a failure; you are not a coward; you are not smelly; you are not sick...my God, you are none of those lies that she fed you. You are beautiful, smart, articulate, intelligent, good, kind, sweet, and nice. You are not unlovable; you are lovable and we all love you. You are not worthless; you are worthy of love, dignity and respect, all of which you were sadistically denied of. Don't ever believe any of those lies that she was and still is spewing. Something's seriously wrong with her. Oh, and I can't believe that your dad would abandon you to the so-called care of that sick, sadistic, ignorant monster of a mother and even allow her to beat, torture and berate you everyday...how dare he! That's not even discipline; that's just abuse and torture and she is the one who is sick and who needs to go to the mental hospital. It's not about you; it's ALL ABOUT her. If she didn't want to be there, then she should've had the courage to leave and give you up for adoption instead of sadistically abusing you. The path that she, your dad and even your aunts and uncles chose is inexcusable. You deserved so much better than what they did to you; Oh, and you are not to blame for her sadistic, messed up, ignorant behavior; she is to blame and so are your dad, aunts and uncles because they chose to abuse you. You were the child; they were the adults. They had all the power and they only misused it over you. Oh, and mothers who abuse their own daughters are, in fact, one of the real abusers, tell someone you really trust and keep telling until he/she will finally listen to you and help you. Oh, and don't let that ignorant so-called mother of yours destroy you.
Apr 21, 2011
 Thanks
by: Finn

Thank you. It is people like us who keep me and dozens of others writing.
Apr 21, 2011
 im sorry for u
by: A7

hey finn your mom sounds like a stupid person because noone should tell their kids thisnor shall a child hear this. my mother still have to be verbally abused by my twisted effin father but now she fights back she tells me wen he verbally abuses her she knows that he is yellin cuz he is afraid. so wen your mom is yellin at u its because she knows you r waay better than her and is scared to admit it. if u still think that everyone hates you than know im here for u!
Apr 21, 2011
 you are powerful
by: Anonymous

finn, you are a wonderful writer, the way you put your thoughts into words is a true gift. your mom is a hurt person, and im sooo sorry that she takes that hurt out on you, my mother did that to me for to many years, and i finally had enough. i am 18 and am still dealing with the abuse i went through. the fact that you could post your story and your poem for others to see, it shows the strength, and determination to succeed and be the better person. i think that you are a very intelligent girl, and you deserve so much more. you are the one that can make the choice to change, and i know you can, because you are STRONG. i love you, even though i do not know you, i know that everyone needs to hear those words. you have potential. i hope for the best for you. good luck!

love,
an anonymous friend <3
Apr 21, 2011
 Finn
by: Anonymous

Finn, I'm so sorry. Nothing is further from the truth. I was abused in a different way (sexual abuse) but I know that ANY child abuse is horrible. Your mother was sick. When I read your story and your poem, you definately are an intelligent person, to be able to write the way you do. What a special gift! Unfortunately, we don't get to "pick our parents". I pray that you heal from all of this. You are a very special person. PLEASE, believe that! My prayers are with you, Finn. A friend who cares.
Apr 29, 2011
 Thanks
by: Finn

To the person before me, I am so sorry to hear that you were sexually abused. You are so strong.
Thank you for eveything tht you guys have said.

If you don't mnd me asking, how has what you've gone through affected you? When I'm standing in a public bus my body automatially twists to the left to avoid my reflection in the windows.
All adults scare me, and I am terribly afraid of criticism or any bad stuff said to me, no matter how mild.
Apr 29, 2011
 You guys are great
by: Finn

Thank you all for your awesome support. We're all powerful.
Apr 29, 2011
 thank you
by: jamie

i would like to say thank you to you. your story is identical to mine in just about every way possible. from the lifetime of constant verbal and phsical abuse they have given me a mental illness. theyve changed the way i interact with people and i search for relationships with people on tv. - about 20 minutes ago i was hit in the face and pushed down by my father. this was after brutal verbal abuse by my mother who says im a spoiled brat who doesnt know how lucky she has it. (after she stole 200$ from me today, this was what the argument was about) she calls me stupid, worthless, nasty(after a while that word takes on a hated meaning.), lazy, a whore, and talks about the 2 more years she has to go threw with me until i leave and wonders how she'll make it. im the one who remembers sitting in her room and praying to god to die at the age of like 9. i used to try holding my breath so that i would die. ...today during the insident as soon as my father attacked me and i fell to the floor he screamed "nothing happened. i didnt punch you in the face or anything." they emmediatly deny something that i still feel the pain from. they beleive themselves. we cant though. sometimes i start to beleive the things they say, but as soon as i hear my mother say "she deserved a good slap in the face, she deserved it." i know theyre wrong. youve given me hope that im not alone, which is something i feel all the time. they are wrong. they are so unbeleivably wrong. no one deserves that. alot of people dont understand verbal abuse. they dont understand the affects it has on us. they think that if someone doesnt physically hurt you then its okay. but from experiencing both, i can say the torment from their words hurt so much more. and those are the things that stick with you for life. i just look to the future for when im away from it all. try to hold on. if you need to talk, im here and youre not alone.
Apr 29, 2011
 Finn.
by: Anonymous

Hi Finn: Thank you for writing back to me. I'm the one who wrote to you about being sexual abused as a child. For a long time, just like you, I hated myself. I went for therapy and am now healing from what happened to me. I pray that you believe that what you went through, also, wasn't your fault. Like I said, unfortunately, we don't get to choose our parents. You must believe what a valuable person you are. I guess that's how I got through my abuse. Take care and I'll keep praying for you. Your friend who cares.
May 01, 2011
 Please read
by: Anonymous

Please don't listen to your mother
My mother has done the same thing to me all my life and I believe it to I stil cring at the sound of my voice avoid photo's hate mirrors and reflections even though I know what she said wasent true
But still it effects me still to this verry day

From Darlene - Webmaster: Anonymous, I do not permit personal information or email addresses in posts on my site, which is why I deleted that information from your comment. I have this strict rule to do what I can to ensure the safety of all my visitors here. I thank you for your understanding.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
May 01, 2011
 Life is hard
by: Finn

Thanks Anonymous and jamie. Sorry your father hit you, jamie. Please don't wish you coul die, you sound like a really wonderful and caring person. There are people who love you, even if they might not be your parents.

And you're so right jamie, nobody knows how horrible verbal abuse is. It seems like avoiding our refletions is a common effect of verbal abuse.

It's nice to know there are people out there who have gone through, or are going through the same stuff as you, but it is painful to know these things are actually happening.
You guys can come talk to me too, anytime.

:)
May 06, 2011
 trust me i know
by: Cleo

I know how you feel, i feel stupid writing that i know how you feel! I know how i felt when i was abused, i still cry about it too, it never leaves you really even thought you want it too! I'm not going to say i'm sorry it just to me seems like a waist of time! all i can say is that you'll be ok and that yeah it sucks, trust me i know! I guess the point of this comment as it currently doesn't have one is that you'll be ok and i wanted to say that you say you don't talk much well neither do i! sort of like you my voice is in the words i write in a page! what i want to say what i want to heat so i suggest you put it all on paper it made me feel slightly better like someone, someday may hear me even though i didn't say a word like they'd understand and it can be a positive thing for a career in the long run i enter writing comps now and i've won a few! so you never really know whats possible! just good luck, you'll be ok trust me i know!
May 11, 2011
 Never Give Up
by: Anonymous

Your story inspired me and all those things what your mother told you, are NOT true! Everyone is beautiful in their own way. so your are a beautiful person. Your poetry is beautiful too. I may be only 12, but I do know how you feel. I have a story of my own too, but I am too afraid to tell anybody. One day, my friend tried to make me tell her about what happened at my home. She saw it in my eyes. Its like another me, but anyways. Life will get better. Since you are great at writing poems, you could write a whole book filled with poems you write! You also could sell them. That's just an idea, but I hope it will help!
Your story inspired me and I will show it to my friends, because life will get better. Remember, not everyone hates you, and if they do, they never got to know the real you. Never give up, and Live your life the way you want. Not how other people want.
May 12, 2011
 You are children of God
by: Anonymous

Finn, Jamie, Anonymous, all of you, you are children of God. Do not let these "parents" make you believe that you are less than worthy. You will survive. I did. You will rise up. I did, and so can you.

No matter what they say, you are younger than they are. You will grow up and GET OUT! You do NOT have to continue contact with these toxic people once you leave.

When you leave, and I know you will, get counseling to help you with coping mechanisms that are better than withdrawal and any other destructive coping mechanisms you have turned to in your time of need.

Embrace your friends and make them your family. When you leave, you do not have to see your "parents" and if you choose to see them, you can see them on your own terms. You can block their number and not give them your address. You can instruct your employer not to let them into your office building. Build a new life, full of promise, hope and love. IT IS POSSIBLE - I am living proof. DO NOT GIVE UP - YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD AND PRECIOUS IN HIS AND IN MY SIGHT.
Jun 21, 2011
 You are strong.
by: Respect

I respect you beyond belief, let me say. Every day you struggle with a mental illness, and you also have to struggle with that kind of awful abuse. Your mother, smart as she may think she is, is a very confused woman who obviously can't open her eyes and realize that she has a beautiful child that she is holding back with her disgusting lies. I can't imagine what it is like to go through that every day, but Finn, please keep trying. You've made it this far. You are such an inspiration to me to help stop child abuse. You write beautiful words, and you are beautiful. I know that your mother's words hurt, but please realize that they are NOT true. You are a smart person with a promising future ahead of you. I have hope and faith in you.
Jun 23, 2011
 :)
by: Finn

Thank you.
Jun 23, 2011
 Thank you
by: Finn

I hope I can be as strong as you guys but now my mother is being all nice and giving and smiley and I can't help wondering when the act will drop and she'll start screaming again. Also what my uncle does to me is nothing compared to what I've read but it still really affects me and I feel sick occasionally. Sorry for complaining.
Jun 23, 2011
 to finn
by: Some One

I wish there was some other way i could talk to you except through here... i'd love to be pan pals with you if you's like finn?
please reply btw i know what you are going through and i know its hard to believe... when this is happening to you, you feel as if no one could ever possibly understand excatly how you feel... truith though is your right no one can ever get 100% excatly how yoou feel coz even though i have been through the same thing you still get effected differently from everyone else and get more or less effected either way.. people say your not alone its true in some types of way you will never be trully alone there is always someone out there that want s to help more then you would know but still we only know what you choose to tell us. so really there could be so many other things you choose to keep to yourself but ever in anyway you wowuld want to talk please i would more then LOVE to be the one you talk to about this i am only 15 to and is still in high school "my real name Naomi" and please let me try to help ??
you seem like an AMAZING person to talk to??
with lots of love.
Naomi
Jun 24, 2011
 To Naomi
by: Finn

I can't believe that you would want to talk to me and I'd love to be pen pals. I'm 15 too and I'm sorry that we met on such a website:) You sound so insightful and clever and I would like to reach out to you too. It means a lot.
:)

From Darlene - Webmaster: Finn and Naomi, while I appreciate that you want to help each other, understand that I will not permit an exchange of personal information, including an exchange of email addresses. This is a strict policy that I make certain is adhered to on this site, because it ensures that all visitors who meet here are kept safe. Any communication will have to be done through the comments here. Yes, I get that that doesn't really give much in the way of privacy, but the safety of both of you comes first. I thank you both for your understanding.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
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