Comments for Child Abuse Story From Dede

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May 03, 2011
 Dede:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Firstly, I want to say that I commend the way your teacher and counsellor responded. They had both a legal and moral obligation to report what they had been told. Secondly, you assume that all children are removed from their homes by CPS when there are problems reported. That's not always the case. Thirdly, if you keep lying to CPS, nothing will change. If you don't tell them the truth, your parents will never get the help they need. If you continue to lie, you are not doing yourself any favours. I'm delighted you have a trusted teacher to talk to, but that will not be enough to change what's happening in your home. Nothing has the potential to change until you start telling the truth, Dede. If you continue to lie to CPS, things can escalate and you may pay a price that's too great to pay. Whether or not things will change if you do tell, I cannot say. But nothing CAN change unless you do. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
May 03, 2011
 The sooner, the better...Darlene is right!
by: Anonymous

Dede, your parents are wrong. You are not bad; you are not disrespectful; you are not lazy; you are not rude; you are a good person. Something's seriously wrong with your parents and they need help, but you need help too, so please tell someone you really trust and keep telling until he/she will finally listen to you and help you.
May 04, 2011
 Always believe in yourself: You'll be the winner over your abusers
by: maurice

Emotionally and physically abused as a child by the two people who shopuld love and care for you has to effect one's concentration at school and studies: Being anxious, stressed somewhat all during the day at school not knowing when your parents will flip and ridicule you when you get home: DEDE you do not deserve this: It is not your fault I am not to blame: great you have found a trusting, caring teacher who listens and advises you accordingly: Stay in education: also if you get the opportunity to speak with a counsellor, do please Dede: stay safe: Be safe: One sure way I am certain of will be a great help to you: ( I hope you ain't the lazy type) for years I have witnessed the power of real natural friendships with loads of aquaintances to go with them: That is taking part in team games: Your school or college Physiacl Education program: Oh yes Dede you will be a sure winner here and in the taking part you will always have a healthy mind in a healthy body: Be gentle and kind to it and yourself: Always in turn have others value and respect it because it is your preciousness: So become active and alive healthily: I WILL: I CAN I MUST: BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT: THAT YOU ARE Dede: Hi, read Darlene's loving encouraging words to you and act on them: Be sure NOW
May 04, 2011
 Hey guys, writer of the story
by: Dede

Well, my teacher set a meeting up with my mom. The meeting didn't change her. My teacher set a meeting up with her because we were getting report cards and I was afraid my grades dropped. I told him that I was sure my mom was going to hurt me. Well my mom went to the meeting and I was called there too. My mom denied everything and my guidance counselor said I was just overreacting, but my mom lied by saying she never did that stuff. My teacher however still wants to help me and says that I am not overreacting. I'm really confused because this teacher broke my trust by setting a meeting up with my mom and I want to talk to him and tell him what happened after the meeting which is my mom making me feel guilty. But I don't know if I can trust him.
May 05, 2011
 Please tell
by: Anonymous

Dede, just because your teacher set up a meeting for you and your mom, that doesn't mean that you should stop trusting him because he is always there to help you because if you keep telling, then hopefully you will finally get the help that you need. You can also try talking to pretty much any sympathetic relative you have. Oh, and you are not to blame for your parents' nearly-sadistic behavior; they are to blame because they chose to abuse you. You were the child; they were the adults; they had all the power and they misused it over you, so please keep telling someone you really trust (other than the teacher) until he/she will finally listen to you and help you.
May 05, 2011
 Don't quit: Don't give up on yourself: Be a winner
by: maurice

Re-reading Darlene's comment to you Dede and what you have just written: I can only say Be true to yourself: your family: your friends and God: The truth will set you free as indeed it will set all involved be free too: Building a trust with another takes time so be sure to keep talking and telling this teacher the truth of what you know happened and was done to you by your mother in physically beating you with all types of instruments,This was not a form of corporal punishment for being naughty to discipline you: It was physical abuse: Emotional abuse is harder to make sense of because it is on going and the efffects can be greater: Dede: The truth will set you free: Darlene's comment is from her heart to you she is saying to you Lies will not help: My heart goes out to you in this as well as in my last comment: Keeping trusting and believeing in yourself: I will: I can: I must because I am WORTH it: To your own self be true first DEDE; I believe all you wrote was the truth as you related it Darlene and her visitors: Was all of it might be the question to ask yourself in the light of what Darlene wrote to you in her comment?????? You were abused, your cry for help here has been heard: With Darlene's comment you will move and on live your life to the full: Have a healthy mind in a healthy body:
May 05, 2011
 Writer of the story
by: Dede

Well, my guidance counselor said it was just a teenage phase and that I am just too sensitive and that all teenagers go through this, but I know that my parents aren't like all the other parents out there. I can never be open to them about half the things in my life because I know that I will get hurt emotionally or physically. I have to hide bad grades and the fact that I hang out with my friends at the library since most of the time I can't. My mom denied everything in front of the guidance counselor and now I think that my teacher thinks I'm just overreacting, but I want to talk to him because I am so overwhealmed with everything and I could really talk to someone.

I don't have any realatives to talk to. None of them live here in the U.S with us. Their scattered all over the globe and I don't know how to contact them. That's a bad option and they probably would think I'm ungrateful since my parents act like their good in front of everyone else.

I have a secret that has been on my chest for a month. Last month I sprained my ankle. It was swollen and bruised a lot. It looked like I had two ankles. I forced myself to walk normally on it for 1 week. I finally was able to walk on it, but even though now my ankle is better, it isn't as strong as it used to be. I had to hide this from my mom because I knew she was going to be mad at me. I knew for sure. I was thinking about asking my teacher for help but I don't know.

I'm just so confused about everything and overwhelmed. I don't know if I should talk to my teacher.
May 06, 2011
 Writer of the story
by: Dede

@anonymous: Please tell- I don't have a relative to tell. None of them live close by. They are scattered all over the world from Europe to Canada to AUstralia and I don't know how to contact them. That's really not an option but thanks for the idea.

I'm really confused and scared and guilty because sometimes I feel like I did the wrong thing by telling when I know I did the right thing. I don't think cps is involved anymore because they said if nothing is wrong, then they will close the case in 2 months which I think they did since they hadn't come for 3 weeks. Now I kind of want them to come up because I want to tell them everything now it's too late.

That meeting with my mom and school didn't change her. She acted like she was a good parent. THen my mom was mad at me for 2 days. She said that she knows I hate her. I never said I hate her and I don't. I just said I hate the way she acts sometimes. My mom isn't that mad anymore but I think she's dissapointed with me and unsatisfied. Actually sometimes my mom just looks at me like she s disappointed with who I am. I don't know what to do and I'm confused and upset. I don't know what I should do.
May 08, 2011
 Dede
by: Anonymous

Dede, I'm sorry to hear that you don't have close relatives to talk to. Like I said, you and your parents still need help, so please keep telling until he/she will finally listen to you and help you. Oh, and if your parents deny what they did, please tell any trusted adult what they did. You can also talk to a friend of yours if you want.
May 08, 2011
 Writer
by: Dede

@anonymous- that sounds like a good idea and I promise i will keep telling.
May 09, 2011
 dream your dreams and make the difference: make them come alive in you
by: maurice

Building a trust takes time: seeing all your closest relations are out of the U S Dede the next people after them to trust are your very special friends: I am sure you have at least one or two your own age: Your Teacher seems to be a caring person wanting you to trust, to listen, to advice: Your counsellor too should be most understanding even though she/he tells you: It is a teenage phase your are working through: You are very intelligent, let them know your real feelings and the effects the abuse had, is having on your life and your personality: your parents have and are abusing you: Denial is your mother's way to safeguard herself from the real truth, she does not want to admit her poor parenting as a mother: ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: Stay Safe: Be safe:
Jan 03, 2012
 I know what u been through
by: Marisela

It's ok I'm being abuse too my mom hits me because I. Don't Clean my room or because I don't do how she wants it to.i always get scared when it's a cleaning day because I just know I'm gonna get hurt from mom.like last time she hit me with a broom several times and threw stuff at me that we're on the floor and other times she pulls my hair and hit me with a shoe. Several times and also she calls me names like how I'm a pig and that I'm selfish and I just don't know what to do any more I'm just scared.
Jan 03, 2012
 @ Marisela
by: Dede

Well my mom doesn't physically abuse me, that was when I was little. Now i's just like yelling at me, or making me feel bad for things I didn't do or throwing temper tantrums. I'm getting sick of it but I took the smarter road and I just try to ignore her. I have adults who I go talk to and it helps a lot. I just try to stay out of home and ignore what they say. I know I am not the things my parents say and I don't need to listen to there false accusations.

Please please tell someone Marisela. Your mom can't keep doing that to you. It's not right. When I first told it was really hard. I am going to be honest, it's hard to tell someone but once you do it feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

I told my teacher and he helped me so much, I still talk to him and go to him for help. I have other adult figures who help too.

I know it seems hard but you don't deserve that. Tell someone. You can't do this alone and I promise when you tell, things will get better. It may not seem like it at first but it'll get better, you'll see.

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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