Comments for Child Abuse Story From Clueless

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Jun 18, 2011
 To Clueless:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

If your sister's boyfriend or "z" were of legal age of majority when they molested you, then yes, it was child abuse; otherwise, no it wasn't child abuse. But no matter what, you were sexually assaulted. Now let me be clear here, even if you were drunk, it WAS sexual assault. You cannot legally consent to a sexual act when you're intoxicated. The fact that you were drunk while underage is probably making you afraid to step up and report what happened. Always remember that it was not your fault. Even if you're drinking, it is not your fault. Fault is always on the shoulders of the offender because the offender chooses to offend. Don't ever forget that. I strongly suggest you contact one of the hotlines listed on my stories page, depending on where you live, in order to talk to someone confidentially. You didn't deserve to be sexually assaulted. You deserve help for the fact that you were. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Jun 19, 2011
 What loving helpful words from the heart to you
by: maurice

Darlene's love is so natural from her huge heart for you and indeed all her visitors: You are a very intelligent teenager, stay in education, I can lovingly say to you have a healthy mind in a healthy body then you sure will not have to use the word clueless ever again: So get out there with your friends and fellow students your own age and gender taking part in team sports oh yes team sports and sporting and cultural activities: You read Darlene words to you she was firm, fair and a friend in re-assuring you It was the choice of the other who sexually touched and offended you: She lays the blame totally with the offender: You may have been a wee bit silly and drank but you will learn from this: Be safe: stay safe: always be in control safeguard your own self respect and dignity: I get the sense you are a responsible thinking teenager with a little fear right now you don't want Mom/Dad or the law know you drank: learn from this little set back, yes it was a clueless thing you did: It ain't the end of the world: you are aware that boys will choose to touch without permission so be in control and tell them they are wrong: were wrong: Take Darlene's words into your heart as well as making sense of them with your mind: I'M SPECIAL: I LOVE, VALUE, AND RESPECT MY BEAUTIFUL SELF: Go on hug and cuddle yourself and tell re-assure the me in the mirror I'M SPECIAL; up and out playing those team sports becaue you are gifted: tallented and i would say you have leadership qualities to make a good team leader/captain: Get Darlene's loving message to you:

From Darlene - Webmaster: I just want to point out here to Clueless that something Maurice said in his comments could be misconstrued. The fact that you were drinking does NOT make what that boy did to you your fault. And it never will be your fault. The implication is that you could have stopped what this boy did and therefore you were somehow responsible for what happened. I don't believe that's what Maurice was saying, but I want to be clear: taking back control is about not putting yourself in risky situations in the first place. But even if you do, it isn't your fault. That boy had NO right to do what he did whether or not you were drinking. And he, as well as others, need to understand that fact, and that the focus must be on HIS criminal behaviour. This was NOT a guys will be guys thing. Always remember that.


From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Jun 19, 2011
 Thank you too: You are the bestest:
by: maurice

Much appreciated Darlene How right you are Clueless be appreciative once again of Darlene wanting you to know the truth: I value her clarification to you as being a good steward of her safe haven site: Much Thanks darlene
Apr 23, 2012
 In some jurisdictions minors can be charged with child abuse.
by: Anonymous

Actually Darlene, depending what Country and what State you are in, minors CAN be charged with child abuse. In some situations even a younger child can be charged with abusing an older child.

Disability, lack of consent. position of authority (like babysitter) are all factors considered when a D.A. makes a decision to charge or not to charge a minor. In some cases a minor may even be tried as an adult for the offense, depending on the severity and nature of the abuse.

From Darlene - Webmaster: Anonymous, this issue is FAR more complicated than simply stating that yes, a child can be charged with child abuse. I commented based on what this visitor disclosed. I'm well aware that charging a minor is a possibility. However, in this case, the minor child was 15 years old, and as a result, a sexual assault charge would be looked upon as an issue of consent if both were minors, even in countries that could and would charge a child. Also, the child would not likely be charged with "child abuse", he or she might be charged with a sexual assault.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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