Comments for Child Abuse Story From Carra

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Nov 05, 2010
 Carra:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

When I was in my 20's I learned that I had the power to take back my life. That I didn't have to keep reliving the events of my abusive past over and over and over again, but that I had to make the choice to stop my childhood from invading my adulthood. I needed help for that, and got it in the form of therapy. But it required a great deal of emotional work on my part. Grueling, but most definitely worth it. I hope the same for you, because you are so deserving and worthy. It starts with you telling yourself those words, meaning them, and challenging the lies you were told as a child. Every time your inner dialogue says something negative about yourself, immediately tell yourself the opposite, and write it down. Keep doing that and plaster the positive list about yourself on every wall in your house as a constant reminder. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Nov 06, 2010
 Similiar Origins
by: sara

Hi Carra, I read your story and came from a similiar situation as yourself. Only my sister was no savior...instead she took advantage of my vulnerable state as the one my mother abused. The rest of my family both turned a blind eye and joined in on the torment. I too was first called a "b***h" and worse as a child from a household headed by volatile, out of control parents. Although they weren't so out of control that they didn't put on the sweetness and light act for outsiders. Because I grew up with constant violence and abuse and told I deserved it AND their treatment of me was a secret hidden behind closed doors---it royally messed me up. Like you, I am perceived as weird because I'm withdrawn and don't trust or feel natural around people. Except for the briefest durations, and I certainly don't let them get close enough to know me in any real sense. And I can't exactly explain why either without making people uncomfortable. So it seems we're stuck holding all the violence and abuse as a secret within us. Yes, therapy helps you as an individulal mentally and psychologically come to grips with whats happened to you, but it does nothing to ease the post traumatic stress and long term conditioning. It doesn't help you to reintegrate socially as a normal person, for instance.
At least that's my experience. I'd like to ask Darlene how she learnt to interact with others on a deep and real level. Did you do it by denying, concealing from them what you'd been through? Prentending you were normal to fit in? How does one live authentically among other people when your real life was filled with such abuse? Don't you have to hide it all and pretend in never happened, otherwise you make other people uncomfortable. But that's why I feel completely fake and superficial whenever I hang out with people, co-workers, family, etc. I have to stuff it all inside and pretend the lies are the truth just to be in the same room with them. How did the rest of you do it? Darlene, did you have to completely cut yourself off from family, move far away?
Nov 09, 2010
 I am taking charge of my own life's destiny: I can: I will: I must because I am WORTH it:
by: maurice

Carra: You are beautiful: You are Special: You are unique: You sure are intelligent: You related your abuse ver so honstly: Darlene's comment: please: OH please read: take her loving, encourageing affirming true words into your heart They are from Darlene's heart to you: Carra: you'll be fine: you'll be the winner too, just as Darlene was: From Victim to Victory: she sure has written you one loving comment: I am certain Sara will be helped too when she reads Darlene Comment: so your sharing your story in a safe place on Darlene's site has already helped another: Good on you Carra: Thank You:

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