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Dec 18, 2008
 Psychologically "burned"...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Carmen, your psychological skin was so badly burned by your father's hateful words and his lack of love and nurturing that I'm not surprised you would still feel intense pain that manifests in the form of hatred. And though you've earned that hatred, it is now consuming you. It's you who suffers with those emotions; not him. It's you who lives with the residual of that hatred day in and day out. It's you who must deal with the repercussions of that residual hatred; and that can come in the form of physical ailments like headaches, stomach problems and even chest pains; if not now, later. It can come in the form of sleep and/or eating disorders, plus a host of other unhealthy behaviours. It will affect your ability to have relationships and your ability to trust; it sounds as though that has already happened. And as long as you continue to have those hateful emotions fueled every day, your father will continue to control you and have power over you.

As a child, you had no power. As an adult, you can take back your power. Your father is no longer in a position to harm you. Carmen, by constantly focusing on the memories of what he called you and did to you as a helpless child, you have effectively taken the reins from him. You said of your children, "I would jump in front of a bus for them", meaning you would die for them. But would you live for them? As long as you hang onto this hatred, you aren't living; you're dying inside.

Carmen, you can't change how you feel, but when you change what you think you automatically change how you feel. But you need help getting to that point. Please consider entering into some form of counselling so that you can get some help with this. You are too smart and too precious and too deserving NOT to. You really are worthy of help, Carmen.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Dec 19, 2009
 emotional abuse
by: BMW Princess

Emontional abuse is a dangerous insidious cancer that devours everything it touches. Your fathers immauture passive agressive manipulations were wrong. you deserve better than that.
BBW princess

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