Comments for Child Abuse Story From Canadian Survivor Part 2

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Dec 10, 2008
 A note regarding my lack of comments...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Paul, my absence of comments on this installment of your story is in no way an invalidation of what you endured and how you feel. I am inundated with story submissions as of late, which has forced me to make some difficult decisions regarding the way I operate my site. In order to ensure my first-time story submitters get their stories posted in a timely manner and also get the benefit of my validating comments, I can now only offer such comments on the first installment of visitor stories. I trust you can appreciate the position I'm in. This really is a balancing act of my personal time, the needs of my visitors, and my ability to work on healing and recovery related projects intended to help child abuse survivors. Thank you for your understanding. And thank you for sharing more of your story with my visitors and me. I will post your story of healing within a few days.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Dec 15, 2012
 i can relate
by: nobody at all

hi canadian survivor. just read your posts from 4 years ago. i've had similar experiences with trying all kinds of therapy but still not being able 2 FEEL very much, or get better. just in the last 7 mos. or so, i've been getting very helpful "openings". what seems 2b going on, is that i had 2 get back 2 the age where i was forced 2 do a major portion of my "turning off", which in my case was babyhood, but could b, 4u, even earlier. i, too, have always been labeled as oversensitive. so, 4 people like us, we have a lot of trauma along with a weakened ability 2 withstand trauma, which may b caused by it happening so early/drastically. anyway, when i'm in touch with my early Self from before i was totally split off, i can feel empathy and love 4 that abused child i was, which i'm pretty sure is the exact same thing as being in touch with God. when we're born, or conceived even, we are totally in touch with the Force of total love, joy, enthusiasm, etc. that is then ripped at and stomped on by other people. so we are forced 2 bury our very souls so deeply that we aren't our Selves any more but r just going thru the motions of living. yes, this huge shutdown can happen in infancy or earlier, and does, 2 many people. in my case, despite having no belief in God 4 most of my life, He turned out 2b the only thing that could save me from total emptiness and suicidal feelings. so, any time u feel in touch with the beautiful 4-year-old u were, u r in touch with your real Self, who was in touch with the great abundance of joy, peace, and everything else that's been missing so long that it just feels "normal" 2 not have these things. so i'm praying right now that u become able 2 be that little boy, in your present life, inside - 2 feel how deserving of joy and fulfilment you always have been, but it was stolen from u by your abusers and this lousy, largely unfeeling world in general. u were born with way more light and love, including a wonderful self-love that has nothing 2 do with "selfishness", than u SHOULD have ever needed, just like we have TWO of many organs, what SHOULD b an overabundance of everything we need. but some of us r wounded so severely and so early on, that even that huge amt. of the ability 2b very happy just being alive is robbed from us. so, know that every time u remember and feel who u were as a child, that's what u were supposed 2 always be, but it got short-circuited by the evil in this world. but u can start reclaiming it by believing that u were created 2b happy and feel great. i will pray that this realization becomes more and more apparent 2u every day. also a good therapist can help tremendously. u know you've found a good one if they feel 2u like a loving person who is eager 2 give u their caring and help and kindness. it's that simple - whatever feels loving is where 2 turn 2, and away from whatever reinforces the lies from your early life.

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