Comments for Child Abuse Story From Anonymously Haunted

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Oct 17, 2013
 To Anonymously Haunted:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I'd say it's probably wise for you to keep distance from the people who have brought you so much pain. I hear what you want. I hear that you want them to acknowledge what they did to you. What hey are responsible for. How they did so much damage. And then, above all, say they're sorry. Because, after all, if they can't say they're sorry, then instead what they ARE saying is that you deserved it. That you are exaggerating what happened. Or that what you say happened didn't happen. And that is the problem with expecting justice. With expecting closure on these terms. You cannot control what they say or do. You can only control your own actions. As long as hold onto the anger and hostility with the intent of making them suffer, it's YOU who continues to suffer. As long as you hold onto all this, you are intricately connected to them, and they continue to control you. Take your power back. Resolve to bring healing into your life by changing your perspective. The fact that you suffered so greatly made it so that you ensured your daughter didn't suffer the same fate. And seeing what you saw in your father ensured you wouldn't choose someone like him. Find purpose is what you endured. It's in that purpose that deeper healing can be possible. I send you love, light and healing energy, Anonymously Haunted. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Oct 17, 2013
 The dignity you still deserve
by: Anonymous

Your story is similar to mine and it's disturbing. That's good that you had been working to get out of that house because no more secrets can and will put an end to the cycle of abuse and helplessness.

My "family" (well, if you can call them that) has always been picture perfect on the outside, but behind closed doors, only one person can see the reality. Anyway, please report those two sick beasts ASAP.
Oct 22, 2013
 To Anonymously Haunted
by: Laurellyn

So many abusers learn to perform their acts to where others don't know what's happening. Many times the child is simply too afraid to say something, because if they are not taken seriously, or someone thinks they are hyping the story, or whatever the case may be, then things could actually get worse for the child. For you, your tyrant father was a fireman, so of course he had an honorable job, saving people...how could he do something of the sorts? Or a mother who was so broken inside from her husband having affairs, it's as though she wanted to get back at him by taking it out on the children. So messed up, so brutal, so unfair to all of you. My heart hurts for you. I can feel your anger and frustration. I know for many of us, it would seem like the right answer to want someone to hurt as much as we did, get revenge on the monsters that scarred your life. I get why you want justice. There is however another route...one that I chose; it's not for me to look at someone else's life and say that's what they should do, but it helped tremendously. I liked very much what the Webmaster said above. You chose a different path with a child you brought into the world. It was a choice of love, nurturing, and compassion. You chose LOVE. You don't have to be part of their lives. That is a strong and wise choice and I'm sure your older child now knows why distance is a must for your family. What I think might help you though and it's a tough thing to tell someone who didn't ask for what they received and that's forgiveness. What happens when that takes place is release. You no longer have to dwell on those things that scarred your life. You are making a conscious choice to move on and be the best you can be and let the hatred go to the depths of hell where it belongs. Forgiveness doesn't happen like the snap of a finger. Even to this day, my mind wants to relive something, but I've trained myself to think on what's good and pure, rather than something that's going to pull me into depression. My heart goes out to you completely...I understand the pain you feel and my prayer for you is to somehow, someway, by your conscious choice to put it all behind you...never forgotten, but to where you can live a life FREE of all the horrible things that haunt your mind. It's choosing to Love and you've already displayed that greatly with your own child. Let Love be your guiding force.

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