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Jan 23, 2008
 It was abuse...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Today, in some countries, (Canada, for example) beltings—especially beltings that leave lasting marks—is considered physical child abuse. But that's a legal definition that doesn't cross borders. It's reasonable to call it abuse when neighbours were concerned for your well-being.

However, there is no question you were emotionally abused by BOTH your mother and father. My types of emotional child Abuse page on this site offers more detailed information about what constitutes emotional abuse. The additional links I've included below will take you to the specific spots on that page for the information. Witnessing domestic violence is a form of terrorizing. The abject fear the child is experiencing in the moment that it is happening is extremely damaging psychologically. It is life-altering for the child. It leaves the child feeling hopeless and helpless. Children blame themselves for all that goes wrong in a home. They believe they are responsible. That is the nature of being a child. Of course, none of what happens in an abusive home is the child's fault. None of it.

One of the worst things a parent can say to a child is "I wish you were never born" or "You were a mistake" which is saying the same thing. Some children never recover from these hateful messages. This falls under the emotional child abuse category called rejecting.

Check out my physical child abuse pages for more details about physical abuse, including a comparison of abuse vs. discipline. You'll find them on the navigation bar in the left margin of this page.

As for what you lived through, you didn't deserve such brutal treatment. You didn't deserve to witness your father's violent tendencies. You didn't deserve to have your mother tell you she wished you were never born. You didn't deserve to be belted for misdeeds. You didn't deserve to be threatened with being placed in-care. You DESERVED loving, caring and nurturing parents who got along with one another, parents who were lovingly united in teaching you and your brother right from wrong, but in guiding and respectful way.

Have you considered counselling to help you deal with the emotional residue of what you grew up with?

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Jan 24, 2008
 hii
by: Anonymous

i had the same problem with my mother when i was about 3-8
Jan 29, 2008
 i am sorry for u
by: Anonymous

That is emotional abuse. Try to block those incidents out of your head like they never existed. Do some yoga. It wikll give you mind and body relaxaton.
Jan 29, 2008
 just like you
by: Just like you

pretty much this is what is happening to me right now. except my dad doesn't hit my mom with pans. my dad constently throws things at us [my siblings] at a high rate of speed. im really sorry for you. i'm going through the same thing right now. im 14. its probably been happening since i was 9?

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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