Comments for Child Abuse Story From Anonymous71

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Oct 12, 2012
 To Anonymous:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Don't ever blame your Self for the way your parents treated you, or for the failure of THEIR marriage. You were a scapegoat for the trials and tribulations that THEY were ill-equipped to deal with. I posted another story today from Justin P, that had some common ground to what you dealt with. I'll say to you what I said to him: Your father had a twisted sense of what it was to be a father, especially to you. Some years ago, I posted an article on this site that spoke to the issue of the targeted child. You may have read it. If not, you'll find it here: Why parents target a specific child for abuse. You'll never know for sure why your father was the way he was toward you. You certainly have your suspicions about what your father did with the other family members. But that doesn't make what he said and did right. What's important is what you think about your Self. What other people think of you is none of your business. I know that's a tough one to embrace, but it's true. If others don't like you or have issue with you, that's on THEM, not you. Just be true to Who You Really Are. And Who You Really Are comes from deep inside your Self. You aren't flawed. You're a beautiful person in your own right. Always remember that. It might be helpful for you to seek out some form of counselling or therapy in order to gain some perspective and get beyond the terrible messages you were left with as a result of your father's (and other family members') abuse. I send you love, light and healing energy. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Oct 12, 2012
 The Horror
by: Anonymous

Your dad is deeply troubled and sadistic; he was too dangerous to be trusted. As for your sister, she can't be trusted either because she's either brainwashed or simply groomed (by that brute) into bullying you. Oh, and they're both wrong. You're not selfish; you're not spoiled; you're not ungrateful; you're a good person. His marriage has NOTHING to do with you; you didn't ruin his marriage; he CHOSE to ruin his own marriage; you didn't cause him to abuse you; he CHOSE to abuse you; he was only blaming you because he refused to accept his own responsibilities. Your life shouldn't have been used as a pawn for his (as well as your sister's) immature, sick misery as well as their ignorant ugliness. It's all on him (and your sister too), not you; you did nothing wrong; it's not your fault that they hurt you; you are important; you are lovable. As for your mom, she could've done more to protect you. Anyway, you're not to blame for his sadistic behavior. I really hope you're in a safe place now and that you try counselling.
Oct 12, 2012
 Re: The Horror
by: Anonymous71

Thank you! I am in a very safe place now; I'm 44 and married to a wonderful man. And I do have a very caring, encouraging therapist. She, my husband, and God have been my guides as I've finally turned around to look at the abuse that happened 25+ years ago.

As for my sister, just the other day she baited me and picked a fight, and then attacked me for trying to defend myself--a tactic she learned from dear ol' dad--and for the first time I saw her games for what they were. I got off the phone quickly and probably won't be talking to her for a long while. I know that she sided with my dad when we were young as a way to protect herself from his abuse, but that doesn't excuse her behavior now.

Anyway, I appreciate your support. It all helps. :)
Oct 14, 2012
 abuse
by: Anonymous

never blame ur self
Oct 14, 2012
 Comments deleted by Webmaster
by: Anonymous

From Darlene - Webmaster: Anonymous, and my other visitors to this thread, I've deleted 3 separate comments from this particular commenter who leaves posts that are judgmental and wholly inappropriate. I cannot block her, but I'll continue to delete her comments before they ever go live on the site.
Oct 14, 2012
 Thanks, Darlene
by: Anonymous

Thanks for being so diligent at blocking the unkind posts. I hope someday that person gets help herself.

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