Comments for Child Abuse Story From Anonymous22

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Sep 09, 2008
 You did nothing wrong...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I take it your grandparents are legally in charge now that your mother is in a mental hospital. Lean on them for support. Trust that they will be there for you. I understand your need to be a "parent" to your siblings. As a child, I felt exactly the same way whenever my mother spent time in the psyche ward of our local hospital.

Your mother's depression and her attempted suicide had nothing to do with you; mental illness can never be blamed on a child. Your mother has problems that you don't know about. As I stated already to another contributor yesterday, you don't know what you don't know. The fact that your mother did not protect you from the harm your father was inflicting upon you tells me she had mental problems long before she tried to commit suicide. Mothers (or fathers) who do not step up and stop child abuse, but instead sit idly by while the child suffers injuries, are guilty of enabling child abuse.

As for your father, there was nothing you could do "wrong" enough that would warrant his brutal treatment toward you. Arguing with your sister, dishes not clean, chores not done, asking permission to do "normal teenager" stuff; none of these are reasons for abuse. There is never a good reason for a parent to abuse a child; abuse is an excuse for something that is much deeper inside the abuser. But an explanation may be able to help you put things into perspective. At the very least, it might help you understand that the abuse had nothing to do with you. You were PERFECT as you were—as you ARE. Always remember that. I have written an article that you might find interesting regarding the whole issue of a parent singling out one child for abuse. You'll find it at Why Parents Target a Specific Child for Abuse.

If you don't feel comfortable talking to anyone within your circle of friends, within your family, or the adults in your life, I suggest you contact Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453). They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Sep 11, 2008
 Stress should not be taken out on others
by: Anonymous

I'm so sorry what has happened to you in the past. Your father's stress shouldn't have been taken out on you. There is no excuse for that. He should be in control of his emotions. After all, he was the adult.

You are so brave for calling CPS. I could never do that. I'm horrified that they didn't listen though. They should have.

Your life must be better now. You can heal. Look past all the trouble and try to start fresh. And what I mean is, like try to forget all the badness, focus on the positive and the good things that happen every day in life.
Oct 17, 2008
 From one to another
by: Emme

I am so sorry,sweetheart. There could never be anything that you could have done to warrent such abuse. I am so happy to hear you say that you involved CPS. My brother and I never did and I feel ashamed for not everyday. You may have run int a whole bunch of bad todays, but you will be rewarded with a great tommorow. As my brother always has said, "this will pass"

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