Comments for Child Abuse Story From Anna

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Sep 26, 2010
 Anna:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Child abuse in its many forms has been allowed to go on since the beginning of time. As long as children have no rights (and they still do NOT have any rights; one need only read of the cases that find there way into the media to understand that although information is available and things are now in the open, not much has actually changed). In your case, and during those times, you didn't know the term child abuse, let alone that you might be being abused yourself. It's all about frame of reference. But even if you had known, there were the support services available, and you likely would not have been believed. Child continue to not be believed, which is why we have to take a stand, not only about child abuse, but about children's rights. As for you, Anna, I'm delighted that you've told even just a few people, but even at 67, it's not too late to seek out some form of counseling in order to help you deal with the repercussions of coming from abuse, and a system that was (and still is) broken. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Sep 27, 2010
 The effects of abuse are deep buried within for years:
by: maurice

Oh Anna you sure re-awakeded in me many a bad memory of my boarding school days almost identical to your awful experiences in that place: I went to a religious run boarding school where there were two bad men who spanked and beat my bottom: yes in front of the other boys which we took very little notice of at the time because we were all boys: But in your situation the abuse and humiliation mus have been horrible and awful: They literally got away with anything in those days: I can well imagine the scenario you tell as indeed that went on in most of these institutions in the fifties and sixties: The effects remain ever so dorment for years simply I believe because we (I) knew no better: I accepted all that happened me as being normal and in the name of making me a better or good boy: Yes, I remember on of the Brothers (Ancient in age) coming into the bathroom and spongeing me all over into my teens: God I can't believe what those men did and were allowed to do to you girls: Anna the effects are still there after all the years: Even though I have speoken with a counsellor who certainly put all that happened to me in perspective: I was 33 years when I spoke with him: I accepted then that it was total abuse that happened to me and all the boys in that school: I cannot emphasize enough, while there were at least 15/16 others in that school only 2 abused us in the way I have mentioned: The rest were kind and out for our real good: Oh yess Anna the effects are deep and even still come to the surfice with me but luckily I can put them in perspective even though they still haunt me: I have true friends who can empatise with me when I share my feelings with them: Thay understand: I hope Anna you will think, about seeking counselling even if it only gives you greater peace of mind in your still young years of 67: I am 64: Thank you for having the courage to write on Darlene's Site: She was a visionary when she set up her site: She knew the greatness it would achieve: She is an Angel from on HIGH; The good feelings I get with each comment I read from her which are so personal to each visitor is huge and positive: Anna: Love yourself: Be gentle and kind to yourself: Thank you for highlighting what went on in these so called care homes and in boarding schools: in the 50ies and sixties: Live well: Laugh alot: LOVE much especially beginning with yourself: Horrific is the only way I can discribe what went on in your place of care: Bad, Bad People:
Sep 27, 2010
 You sure are one brave woman: Good on you for being so:
by: maurice

Anna: Your telling ever so honestly and truthfull your years in care all those years ago: 1940's 1950's 1960's were very bad years for children and teenagers esepcailly those who were in care and in boarding schools: You story evoked so many memories for me, my comment was too long when I went to post it: This is my 2nd attempt: Yes: you bring up things that happened to you in that place: Supposed to be a place where children were loved and cherished and yet what happened to you and those girls and boys but more so the girls was total humiliation and abuse of your personal dignity: Those men were sicko's: What kind of woman was she not to protect you and the girls: male domination was the order of the day in those years: I certainly can empatise with you: I am 64 a male who went to a boarding school in those years: I was spanked in front of the other boys at the whim of the Dean of Discipline as he was known to us: right up to my late teens and adolecent years: We were all boys but beating you on the bare bottom in front of the boys and girls was total disrespect for your personal dignity as an adolecent girl: Two of the Brothers used to come in when I was bathing and sponge me all over upto the time I was 15: when the school authorities put in shower units: Oh Anna darlene woman's heart has gone out to you: Please love yourself enough to speak with a counsellor: I assure you even at 67 you will get great peace of mind: You are young at heart so you still have alot of living to do: Make the best of it for yourself and your family and friends: You still deserve the best: Thank you for searching for and finding Darlene's Safe Haven site even for our generation who were abused: She sure was a visionary when she set up her website: That is why you can be true to yourself and think about what she wrote to you personally: That is the one good thing about her site: when she has the time she writes a personal loving re-asuring message and comment: She values and respects each one and know how difficult it was for them to write the truth in detail about their abuser and what was done to them: Anna: Live well: Laugh alot: Love much: Beginning with your good and true self:
Sep 29, 2010
 Spanking on bare bottoms
by: Carol

I think it's a form of sexual abuse. I was spanked that way a few times and witnessed my brothers many times. I remember weird and disturbing sexual feelings arising. It's disgusting. Whoever came up with this form of punishment and why is is so accepted?

From Darlene - Webmaster: I agree with you Carol, and so do MANY in the field of psychology. I have my own thoughts about who came up with it, but that would require way too much space and detail. What I will say is that as long as we treat children without dignity and respect, as long as we don't make a conscious decision to discipline without violence, people like you, me and millions of others will continue to suffer the devastating effects. And for those who might disagree and feel the need to extol on the so-called virtues of spanking, you are of course free to believe as you do, but please don't comment here, as I won't permit comments that promote the use of violence, especially violence against helpless children. Thank you, Carol, for your thoughtful comment.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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