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May 20, 2008
 Your life doesn't have to STAY ruined...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Andrea, if you believe you will be forever battling he effects of what you endured as a child, then you will forever battle. But if you believe that you can overcome, you will overcome.

I was once at least 150 lbs overweight. Like you, food was what I used for comfort. Only, it wasn't comforting at all; it was all-consuming! I lived only for my next "fix" of whatever I could gorge myself with. I lived to be out of pain. I lived every moment of every day wanting to be alone with food. Wonderful, glorious, never-judging, always-there-for-me food. But food wasn't feeding me; it was feeding on me. And then I went the other way...anorexia and bulimia; yet other methods of self-destruction. The therapist I saw in my twenties taught me why I ate and why I didn't eat. He taught me that I insulated myself with food. When I came to understand it was all about my own self-loathing and anger and hostility, when I came to realize that I as an adult had choices about my own life, that I no longer needed food—or NO food—to bury the pain, I began to make REAL progress.

You said you've been in counselling...perhaps it's time to re-enter sessions with a therapist. The best gift you can give to your children is to take excellent care of their mother. You deserve that kind of care for yourself, Andy, and your children deserve to have a mother who is happy, healthy and honouring of herself.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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