Comments for Child Abuse Story From Amber1 Part 2

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May 17, 2009
 I can feel the pain you're in...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Amber, you don't want to die. What you want is to be out of pain. What you want is for your mother to treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve. What you want is for your mother to say (and mean) "I love you". What you want is for your mother to stop yelling at you. What you want is to be believed and not ignored. What you want is a loving and nurturing mother. What you HAVE is a mother who is troubled. A mother who uses you to lash out at. She is out of control, Amber, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you. Sometimes parents have so many problems that those problems overtake them, and they lose sight of the most important people on the planet: their children.

But there are things you can do to help yourself, Amber. If you know your mother is going to give you agony when your room is untidy, then tidy it up. If your mother wants you to do the dishes, then do them when she asks. Resist the urge to give her any attitude, because you know what will happen if and when you do. I'm not saying that you're to blame here, Amber; you're not. Your mother has problems, of that I have no doubt. What I AM saying is that you can do some things differently to at least attempt to improve the circumstances around the house.

Amber, the last time you wrote your story here I gave you the number of Kids Helpline in Canada (1-800-668-6868). Please call them. While I know that it can help to write your story here on my site, no one who visits here is in a position to be able to counsel you in any significant way. My visitors and I can offer a few words of validation and encouragement, but you yourself are in a better position to help yourself than anyone who visits this site. Please call Kids Helpline. And don't be afraid to talk to a school counsellor or a trust teacher. Perhaps the mother of one of your friends would also lend an ear. Just remember that you are definitely worthy of love and dignity and respect. You ARE lovable, Amber. Don't EVER forget that.

Thank you for sharing more of your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Jun 19, 2009
 You are loved
by: Anonymous

Amber, I am twenty years old and have only recently (in the past few months) realized that I have been emotionally abused. My situation is extremely similar to what you've described, except I was hit only a few times when I was young, and it stopped after a particular incident.

You may feel as if your situation is not all "that bad" because you read some of the stories on here and you think that others' stories are much worse. Other people may even tell you that. The truth is, abuse is abuse, no matter how it is expressed, and it's all "bad." Nobody's story is better or worse than anyone else's, and you have a right to feel everything you're feeling.

I'd also like to encourage you for being so strong. The fact that you are still able to cry every time your mom yells at you shows an incredile ability to feel, which is a good thing. I've gotten to a point where I feel numb sometimes, but the fact that you can still feel so strongly shows a lot of strength, even if it hurts to feel. And I am glad that you have recognized this pattern of abuse at such a young age, and I encourage you to seek help from whomever you can.

And about God, I want to let you know that He allows us to have free will, and sometimes, we use that free will to make bad choices (like your mom). But He hurts every time you hurt, and He understands your pain. He, Himself, was beaten, ridiculed, and tortured for having done absolutely nothing wrong. But He endured all of those things so that He could heal your pain and make you whole. He loves you so much (much more than the most loving parent on earth ever could), and He wants to be your refuge. For every time you've thought, "I'm worthless," or "I don't deserve to be here" because that's the message that's been beaten into you, He wants to tell you, "You're lovely and captivating," and "I love you, because you are My beautiful child," and finally, "I am with you." While it may not be your choice to be happy (because happiness comes from the circumstances of our lives), it is your God-given priveledge to be joyful and hopeful even if your mom is in the middle of yelling at you. While she may seem very intimidating and powerful now, she has no power to take away from you what God wants to give you.

"Even though my mother and father forsake me, the Lord will receive me." - Psalm 27:10

You are loved, dear child, and the most perfect parent that you could ever imagine is just waiting for you to jump into His arms so He can cradle you, hug you tightly, and ease all of your pain.

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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