Comments for Child Abuse Story From Ali

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Dec 09, 2010
 Ali:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Consider contacting the local authorities and/or an attorney to find out if there is a way for you to lodge a case against the institution for the abuse you (and others) were forced to endure. I also strongly recommend you seek out some form of counseling in order to help you deal with the repercussions of going through such terrible abuse, as well as the betrayal and abandonment you may well be feeling at the hands of your parents. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Dec 11, 2010
 Always believe in your self: Get help: You'll be fine
by: maurice

That might be easy for me to say: But Ali once you take the steps Darlene so lovingly from her heart urge to take then you'll be fine: Letting go will take time: You must distance yourself from that hell hole of an Institution: I can empatise with you I too went to a place similiar for 7 years: The beast, who abused me by beating me and the other 59 boys is dead too: But even so a number of boys received restribution from the institution: Here in Ireland that is the situtation: I am certain if you make enquiries you too will get your just rewards: Once he was prossecuted for abuse then you sure deserve retribution: Money is not the answer so you must speak with a counsellor maybe must is a bit strong: But you get my message: Talking out all that he put you and the other boys through and did to you needs to be put in perspective in your own mind: A counsellor will help Ali: The effects of abuse will eat you up and have been for a number of years in your life: Darlene knows best: you telling your story on her site was a cry for advice and help: She has given it to you: Act on it: then you'll be fine:
Dec 11, 2010
 Sorry to hear of it
by: Scott 1

Hello Ali..sorry to hear of what happened to you. We have something in common. Unfortunatly.
Dec 11, 2010
 civil courts?
by: My Two Cents

I have no idea if this would work in the united kingdom, but in canada, the government (federal) paid compensation to aboriginal men and women who survived government funded residential schools. If the UK government paid money to fund the school you attended, perhaps you could pursue them for a financial settlement.

A note - I have made several comments recently about seeking justice in civil courts and getting money for the suffering. I am NOT saying that getting money makes what happened right, but suggesting it as an additional punishment for the abusers and in this case, for the government that allowed it. Check with a lawyer and see what happens.

Be well.

My Two Cents.
Dec 12, 2010
 understanding
by: Scott 1

Correct me if Im wrong..(Darlene you know my story)..it is my understanding that in Canada money probably wont be awarded for legal school sactioned beatings. In my case the money would help just trying to live let alone getting "professional help." I dont want to blame someone else for my lack of success. It does make one wonder though..who might I have been had it not been for the abuse. Less anxiety and more self confidence would go a long way. Money can pay for therepy. Can someone, anyone be held accountable or was there no wrong doing in the first place(because corporal punishment was legal). Im looking for understanding. Whos responsable..a rogue teacher or a schoolboard? Why search for reconciliation when there is no chance for success? Just more exposure and embarrassment. Perhaps if there was a way of doing it quietly with less stress on the victims and not plastered all over the media...but class action is not likely going to be quiet. In my case the only other person I know of so far that was abused by her is dead. Before that he was in denial. Yesterday I asked a former witness and he cant remember who she was. Yet he clearly remembers the event! Have they blocked out the events as well? Could it have been THAT traumatic to witness for them?
Dec 13, 2010
 laws, accountability
by: My Two Cents

Scott1, I am not a lawyer but but understanding is as follows:

Teachers hired by school boards are expected to do certain things, like teach, monitor lunchroom, foster a school spirit, etc. They do have LIMITED rights to discpline students, and at times this may include corpoal punishment but it should be REASONABLE.

School boards are responsible for supervising teachers, paying them, setting pay scales, etc. Usually school boards have the principal do the supervising since they are there everyday. School boards do not really have the excuse of, "well, we didn't know" since it's one of their primary responsibilities as an employer. They can't decide not to supervise someone. At the same time, they are not actually in the classroom to observe everyday so a "smart" teacher can hide things at times.

The problem in some cases is that the event took place so long ago that eye witnesses are deceased, not available, the laws were different, etc. This makes it an incredible hardship for the victim to pursue a legal civil action.

In the original case, Ali, my understanding is that there were multiple victims and clear evidence of what happened, so I thought Ali could pursue the government for allowing it. In your case, the only other victim you knew of was in denial and then deceased so I think it would be difficult to find a lawyer who would take your case on.

I know that is not what you wanted to read, Scott1, but it is my understanding. However, as I am not a lawyer, perhaps I am wrong? Why not visit the local bar association or if you live in a city with a university that has a law faculty, make some inquires there. They may be able to help you further.

I hope that helps?

Be well.

My Two Cents.
Dec 14, 2010
 Human Nature: Human Life is at a Low Ebb
by: maurice

With so many nations in a mess with there economy up what ever creek: Survival of the fittest is part of lives journey tight now for most of us: My 2 Cents worth has put guidelines and laws that regulate child abuse from generations past are just part and parcel of the changeing times we are living in: Every section of humanity/life is being challenged: Governments are fast passing laws to cope with so many breakdowns all through generations past: Sadly the present one is suffering because of ruthless people in our churches, in our governments, in our Banks, feathering their own nests at the expense of the tax-payer and ordinary citizen of any Nation: Thankfully though Scott and others many Nations are succeeding to put in place guidelines/laws to safe guard our children from being abused: There was so much abuse in past generations which was even accepted as such, to be dealt with.Each one of us has to be very patient: You have to know your own rights: fight for them: Never forgetting that you also need to stand up for others who are only beginning the process of being healed. We must not give up hope: We must love and support each other, stand together, in the corner of the world we want to make a difference: The effects of abuse will and can cripple our spirits if we let them: Darlene's site gives each of us hope there is a life to be lived (lived to the full) after being abused: Always believe in yourself: Even in the very comments we share and so well stewarded by Darlene are for me (us) a great consolation to know someone still cares: Friendships and having a good and true friend will help each of us to live well: Laugh alot: Love much especially all who have been abused in whatever form:

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