Comments for Child Abuse Story From Aleksandra

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Dec 24, 2008
 A number to call to talk to someone...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Aleksandra, you are not stupid or ignorant or worthless or trashy. You are smart and worthy of love and respect. Whatever reasons your parents decided (or decide) to divorce, it has nothing to do with you; that's all on them. None of what's happening is your fault.

I urge you to contact Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone about the abuse you are still dealing with. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you. They are not a reporting agency, but they can help you through the process of reporting if you decide to disclose the abuse.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Dec 24, 2008
 Hurtful words.
by: Scott, N.S. Canada

I,like you,suffered from hurtful words.Things said to us as children cut so deep.I believed everything that was said about me.All the angry,nasty,hurtful things that were said to me and the names I was called,I beleived it all.It started for me in the early 1970's and I still remember it today.I remember how much it hurts. I wish I could have had a place to tell my story when I was little.You are so brave Aleksandra.I know I never would have written it on here when I was little.I found it helped me alot to write of my experiences on this site.What made the awful words worse ,for me, is when I would get physically punished at the same time. I also received spankings or should I say beatings in school.It was done in front of others and clothing was removed so I know that feeling of exposure you are writing about. School for me was not a safe place to tell either.I finally,many years later got to write my story on here,and it helped tremendously. Even writing your story down can be a great first step. I know how you feel. You are not alone.And you are not a bad person.
Dec 24, 2008
 So many horrendous crimes committed
by: Francine

Aleksandra, what your whole family did to you is horrendous. Your so-called parents are wrong. You are not stupid; you are not mental; you are not trashy; you are not worthless! You are smart, articulate, beautiful, neat, caring, kind, strong, courageous and downright worthy. Don't ever let anyone, let alone your scumbag family, think otherwise. You should always call the police on those evil sadistic monsters, no questions asked. And your so-called family should be permanently incarcerated for all those terrible sadistic crimes that they willingly and deliberately committed against you. Strangely enough, I went through the same thing, except that my dad hadn't punched me, let alone hit me with anything except his own hands (actually, he slaps me)...his estranged father (I never really knew that estranged grandfather of mine) named Joseph used to insist on hitting someone (my dad, in particular) with the belt while my dad preffered his own hands...instead of throwing me against the wall, however, I do remember him [my dad] throwing me to the ground at times. BTW, that divorce that your "parents" decided to get wasn't and WILL NEVER be your fault. You don't need any services from the mental hospital, but you do need counselling or therapy. You can also tell a teacher, priest, rabbi, principal, school nurse, just pick a trusted adult, about what you are going through cuz you don't deserve to live like this. The only stupidity that I see comes from those animals for parents, grandmother and brother. I will pray for you. Hang in there.
Dec 24, 2008
 Few more things to relate...
by: Francine

BTW, hunny, I can also relate to other parts of your heart-breaking story. The face-making thing...yes, I can relate. The mental hospital thing...yes, I can relate, too. I can also even relate to your brother hurting you; my brother used to kick me a lot, too, except that instead of only making faces at him, I swore back at him, only a few times, and as a result, he only did it more. My parents did not hit me just for making faces, either; well, I swore back at them as well, only a few times, and guess what? THEY ONLY DID IT MORE. I am mentally retarded now (the only part of your story that I can't relate as you are smart and intelligent), and I've been that way since. I am always sad, and I don't even feel like being happy anymore. You see, both of our lives are full of darkness. Trust me, Aleksandra, other parents NEVER EVER do this to their own children for being naughty, so why did both of our parents do it to us? Those animals should've at least just told you instead of blowing a gasket and being violent; why can't my parents and brother just tell me instead of being violent? My parents call me names, too, and that is awful. That is how I can relate.
Dec 24, 2008
 Sooner the better Francine is right.
by: Scott, Canada

I wish I had learned to deal with my troubles much earlier.My father would call me dummy.Over and over and over.I was told I was stupid,a sue boy.It started so early,maybe 6 or 7 on until I was an adult.I have told my story on here,and much more on my comments to others.My father was into slapping my head and throwing me into walls.Holding me up against the wall by my throat.I was terrorized.Years and years of constant mind games and being told I was good for nothing.I was abused in school as a youngster.I was bullied then too.I witnessed abuse of my friend by the same teacher.That period of my life I had a best friend killed.No greif councillors back then.It just didnt get talked about.All before I was 9.The pressure built.The rage,the hate,the darkness.In junior high I was wondering in a daze,broken and stoned.Failing school and not caring.I had no one to tell anything to.The school caugh me calling myself "mental"..."retard".."stupid".."stupid long haired lazy good for nothing hippie". The therapist wanted to know why I was calling myself these things.My father went in first and told him I was mental and should be locked up.I was tortured so long I was coming apart.I hadnt even discussed the corpral punishment I had endured in school let alone the any new ongoing problems.I wish I had told someone sooner.As Francine wrote,its not your fault.Once you learn that those things said about you are not true,you will be free.I had to learn,all by myself,that I was worth something.I had to teach myself.I had to build myself.Telling myself that I wasnt all those things saved my life.I had to learn self importance.I had to like myself.Its not healthy to leave these things unfixed for that long.Hate and anger kill.Aleksandra, Francine is right,you have to get help, please dont wait too long.
Dec 25, 2008
 you are so brave...
by: touched2mysoul

You are brave to write your story here and im glad you did... I too was abused as a kid and maybe if this site had been around then i would have known that i wasnt alone.. it wasnt right and i may have found the strenght to tell someone and keep telling until someone helped me... instead i suffered in silence... and pay a price everyday for my silence. Get help! Tell someone... if they dont listen ... tell someone else... you are too special and beautiful of a person to be treated this way. Believe me.. i was beaten often and hard by my mother as a child. I wish i had told someone... i wish i had tried to tell....
I wish for you safety and soon. I wish for you love and peace... I wish for you to get to a better place .... reach out ... someone will reach back... telling here on this site took strength... keep telling...
Dec 26, 2008
 To Scott from Canada
by: Francine

Scott, thank you for agreeing with me. I always knew that you are not alone! We need other people to agree with us, too, and so does Aleksandra. As for you, Aleksandra, Scott is right, my dear, you must break the silence and tell everyone (even at school) before it's too late! Good luck!
Mar 13, 2009
 STAY STRONG AND TELL SUM1 B4 ITS 2 LATE!
by: CINDY

SWEETAE U NEED 2 TELL SUM1 I KNEW SUM1 WHO WAS GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING U R GOING THROUGH,BUT ITS 2 LATE 4 THEM 2 SAY ANYTHING THEY GOT BEAT 2 DEATH! PLEASE TELL SUM1 I DON'T KNOW U,BUT ID LIKE 4 U 2 BE WITH A LOVING AND CARING FAMILY! SEEK HELP PLEASE!! THE WORLD DOESN'T NEED 2 LOSE ANOTHER INNOCENT CHILD DO 2 ABUSE! I KNOW UR SCARED,BUT U NEED 2 DO SOMETHING B4 ITS 2 LATE! MAY GOD BLESS U! U WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY PRAYERS FROM THIS DAY FORWARD!
Feb 05, 2013
 The dignity you still deserve
by: Anonymous

Aleksandra, your story is a bit like mine and it's honestly disturbing. I hope you're working to get out and get some help because no more secrets can help put an end to the cycle of abuse and helplessness.

Help yourself, not them; they're adults who need to help themselves; if not, then that's their issue.

It's best to recognize their unhealthy behavior as well as what can still be happening in your life with others in order to get out of that cycle of abuse and helplessness.

None of that crap is your fault; they only blame you because they just refuse to accept their own responsibilities. You didn't cause them to abuse you; they CHOSE to abuse you. For starters, please tell someone you really trust and keep telling until he/she will finally listen to you and help you.

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
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