Comments for Child Abuse Story From A Girl

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Mar 20, 2008
 Once a molester...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

What you lived through was every bit as much "hell" as anyone else who has courageously written their story on this site. I agree with your counsellor; there is no such thing as "a little bit" of sexual abuse.

I can understand your fear of disclosing the sexual abuse in front of your husband, especially since you see this cousin during holiday times. Considered this: The fact that he molested you when you were a child means he is quite likely still molesting. The fact that he molested you when you and he were both children very likely means he too suffered sexual child abuse.

As for your mother and grandmother, it was their job to protect you. They both failed miserably. They were so concerned with the state of mind of your cousin, they completely disregarded you. It was this disregard and the excuses they continued to make for your cousin's inappropriate behaviour that allowed him to molest you. They both have much to answer for.

I urge you to disclose the sexual abuse to your counsellor so that you can start to deal with the emotional and physical abandonment you experienced with your mother and grandmother. I don't know what the statute of limitations is in the state you lived in when you were molested, but I strongly recommend you attempt to make a complaint about historical sexual child abuse, because there is a very high probability your cousin is still molesting.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Mar 20, 2008
 what do i do
by: Anonymous

Hey I have had the same problem but it was my brother and my cousin. The thing is I never said no I just let it happen or I would do the same thing you did. Now my question for you is what did you do to just let it go? I mean I forgiven everyone and I am in a loving relationship but it haunts me in the back of my mind.... let me know when you can
Mar 20, 2008
 therapy
by: Anonymous

I don't know that I just let it go. I have been seeing a therapist for the last 8 years and she has said that I disassociate. I must be doing that in regards to these episodes. I have a lot of issues with my mom, because she failed at protecting me from a lot of things, not just my cousin. I have been dealing with these issues in counseling.

As far as my cousin, I don't blame him, I pity him. His childhood was terrible and he has a lot of love to give, but was never able to blossom. He is screwed up. It is so sad. I don't think he is a bad person, evil or anything. I think he is lost, abandoned and wounded. Maybe because of that it has made it easier for me to deal with. I think I have more work ahead of me in regards to this, and I will continue to see my therapist. Since I've been with her for so long, she really knows me and it's helpful for me to continue with my sessions.

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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