by Sophie
(Illinois, USA)
This is not a story about me, but mostly about my long-time best friend Rose. We've been best friends since second grade and we are now about to go into eighth. When we were in third grade, her parents split up. Her mom was schizophrenic, and went insane. Rose lived with her for awhile, and her dad remarried to a Russian woman. Rose's mom would constantly tell her that her dad got her as a mail-order bride. They went broke, and Rose was put into the custody of her dad and new stepmom. Before they married, her stepmom had her half sister Elana. Rose's mom was meanwhile put into a mental hospital in Chicago. Rose's stepmom was just pretty much ignoring her and busy with her half sister. Her dad had gotten spacey and also ignored her. She depended more on me, but I couldn't always be there; I have other friends and had a boyfriend. She also was and still is very protective over me. I think it's probably because she has no older female figures in her life that she can depend on. She didn't have anyone to talk to when she hit puberty or anyone to talk to when she started thinking about dating, other than me and a couple of our other best friends.
Around sixth grade, Rose's mom came to our town. Her dad had gotten tipped off about this by his ex brother-in-law, and took Rose out of town. We usually hang out at the library across from our school after we get out from school, and I saw her mom there for the first time in about 3 years. She stood there and stared at me for about 10 minutes. I was so scared, because our family has a restraining order on her ever since she started getting crazy. She had said that she wanted to "take Rose somewhere far away, where no one could hurt her". All I can say is I was very glad to get out of there. I had to talk to the police and Rose's dad and tell them exactly what I remember her wearing and what she did and what she had. They eventually found her, and forced her to go back to the mental ward that she had escaped from in Chicago.
Her mom was so convinced that Rose's dad, brother, grandpa, and every other male figure on her dad's side had raped her. She called frequently, leaving disturbing voice mails. Rose had to go to a counselor and a therapist against her own wishes and often came back to class crying.
Around 7th grade, her home life was also getting tougher. Her stepmom constantly slapped her and hit her. But I think it was the words that hurt more. She called her stupid and a slut and a bitch almost every day. She would tell her to get her s**t off the floor and call her a "stupid bitch". Rose's half sister, Elana, however was the little princess of the family. She was spoiled silly, and never got in trouble. Everything she did was perfect and special. If anything went wrong in Rose's family, it was automatically Rose's fault. She had to pay for everything: food, clothes, everything. And being twelve, it isn't the easiest thing in the world.
I know that even though her mom is insane and wants to kidnap her, Rose really misses her. She just wants it to be the way it was before her abusing stepmom came into the picture. Her grandpa just died, and the only family member that really likes and respects her, her 20-year-old brother, is moving to the other side of the country in a month or so. Even though her stepmom slaps her, hits her and swears at her, and she has told her dad, he doesn't do anything about it. He used to be the most laid back person I know, but since her stepmom and Elana came along, he's been on edge and also swearing at Rose and yelling, which I have never in my life seen him do before that, in all 7 years we've been best friends.
Since Rose is still so young and after all she's been though with her mom and her stepmom and sister, I just feel like she is going to snap. She's very strong, but I can't help getting annoyed at her every once in awhile. I always regret it. She never likes to be at home and has said she'd do anything to replace her stepmom. I have told my mom about this and she didn't offer any advice, so I'm not sure what to do.
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From Victim to Victory
a memoir
How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life
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