Child Abuse - A Part of the System

by Donna F
(Montana, USA)

My own daughter abuses her daughter, my granddaughter. When my daughter chose to pursue her career as a psychologist she couldn't afford it. She got student loans and I was her free babysitter, paid my own gas (14 miles a day) and many times buying food and other things and borrowing the family money. I was with my granddaughter (6 to 8 hours a day) until she was in 2nd grade and then she was cut to sleepovers once or twice a month, grocery shopping trip once or twice a month 2 to 4 hours that day, and a Wednesday trip to the dollar store every week spending two dollars and having that personal time to share for about 30 minutes.

This lasted about 6months to a year then was dropped down to the dollar store once a week and the grocery trip twice a month maybe for one hour and I could no longer buy her anything. Soon it was only the dollar store.

In about two months I was told her brother, 4 years older than her, was hurt and that he felt left out that he couldn't go with us to the dollar store so we had to take him or not go. My granddaughter was very hurt because it was the only time we had left to ourselves.

Her brothers were always treated very well with respect she was not. She was called an explosive child and labeled ADD. The only time she had problems was when her mother ridiculed her, backed her into a corner and pushed her buttons and she had no place to go but explode.

Once she was so frustrated she unleashed and her mother threw her down on the floor and got her into a compromising position and told her husband to video tape it then told their long time friend guests to come and watch!! Later my granddaughter shared with me that she was so humiliated and ashamed. This is how they always treated her. She was about nine here.

I wasn't allowed around my granddaughter much at this time. For personal reasons what my daughter did to me and my husband to ruin us to keep us from my granddaughter because we supported her and tried to help her but couldn't get anyone to listen to us.

Once my daughter and granddaughter were driving home and arguing. My daughter stopped the car and pulled my granddaughter out of the car. This happened when she was 10. Her mother told her her she hoped she could find her way home. It was 10 pm, dark, strange surroundings and over a mile from her home. Her mother got in the car and left her. My granddaughter knew a friend in the area so she went there and called me and I went and got her and brought her to my house. Her parents called and wanted to talk to her and I told them they had to promise not to punish her. They called the police. They came to the door and the parents took her and the dad hollered at me that she was "playing me". That was their excuse for bad parenting. The policeman stayed and threatened me with all the things that could happen to me for interfering with parents discipline, including prison.
He said at nine years old my granddaughter was old enough to find her way home that it happens all the time???

The next day I went to the police station and talked to a Sargent there and told him everything including what that policeman said and he said that policeman didn't have his facts straight and he didn't know where he got his information but what happened was "Child Endangerment". It didn't matter WHO you were it was against the law but he wasn't the officer on sight so he couldn't do anything.

There are so many more incidents!!

I have called the child abuse hot line and because of the position she holds working with Social Service, Abused Children, Youth Counselor for the High School, Runaway Center and the Police Dept, and when they deal with her they side with her and I get abused.

There is no way I can protect my granddaughter from the physical, emotional and mental abuse she is suffering. She is 12 now and now she is totally isolated from the outside. I still fight on for her. I don't know where to go next but I'm not giving up. Yes, I have talked to our Pastor.

Donna F